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Fiona (1 like)
Aww! I really connected with this. Such an improvement from when I saw this last! The action was especially well done.
Nova (1 like)
ACk—YESSS!!! Phenomenal work. Tea’s good intentions were super understandable and sympathy-inducing in this version, and all of the dialogue was very well-written. Even though the lines weren’t recorded, I could hear everyone’s voices very, very clearly—the characterization was just that effective. Y’ really knocked everythin’ outta the park. Also, #WeBefriendedTheCoolTeens—LET’s GOOOO.
That man at the beginning and the woman whose bubble Tea flew herself into (hilarious, by the way)—I really love them, actually. Like, the man’s not bein’ nice, exactly, but there’s something about him—I can feel the kindness hidden deep within. And, that woman—bro, Tea scared the living daylights out of her. Honestly, I woulda liked to see them at the end. Like, I know they’re not on Tea’s side… but also, aren’t they? I can feel it. I can feel the soul camaraderie—the potential is there. Character arc, y’know? #CoolTeensAndTheTwoAdults.
Speaking of cool teens, them were some COOL teens. I loved the paper ninja star throughout all this, and it was a perfect way to tie things all together. Tea goin’ “OW” when she gets hit by the ninja star—super smart. Like, yeah—taste o’ yer own medicine—that was pretty unbois. But, ALSO, we totally getcha. Friends acquired. Fantastic. And, then, how they both pop their own bubbles? Amazing. Bro that guy wanting to learn how to make the ninja stars is too wholesome. And, they’re so fashion—AGH.
Yo, real quick tho—and I wouldn’t change it, because I love it how it is—but how in the world did that girl throw that ninja star at Tea… when she was in a bubble the whole time? *alien music*
But wholly babolly—super duper amazing work. Out of all of the submissions I’ve seen, I think this reads as a “Pixar short” the most. Extremely wholesome, extremely relevant, extremely personable. Can’t wait to see what yer gonna do in the future.
Richard (1 like)
Very fun story with an interesting twist on the consent of people living in their own bubbles.
Richard (1 like)
Concept… not consent…. Silly auto correct
Behnaz (1 like)
I loved your story! I got emotional! I think you did a great job of expressing with just visuals. Well done!
Marcus (1 like)
This is a really interesting take on the idea of consent – I imagine this story would quite different with a male lead approaching female bubble dwellers. Maybe best you cast it the way you did. It's really well told, great pacing, good story. It was unclear how the world came to be this way but I don't think you need to explain it – it's something we all understand. As a lover of scifi myself this felt very dystopian without being heavy handed & I think that is worth praising.
It was especially interesting to me that the lead didn't learn her lesson of pushing herself on others after the first time & in fact doubled down on her efforts to force others to live in the way she thinks is best. I think that's a good arc though it personally was hard for me to empathize with that choice – it definitely makes it better in the end when she realizes the error of her choices.
To make it stronger I would focus on the ending – especially on expanding how the character has learned to treat others with more autonomy & respect, realizing that just because she chooses to live without a bubble doesn't mean she has the right to force others to as well. I liked the way you had the ending as is – with the couple throwing the star at her – but I could see it being it taken another direction, maybe give her a serious "dark night of the soul" moment for us to dwell in with her, letting us see she has truly connected with the idea that others just don't want to live the way she thinks they should.
You might also look into adding voiceover. Try Fiverr.com, there's lot of talented people there – that would make this really come alive.
Overall I think it's a great message on both sides. I agree with you that people live too much in their bubbles. Good luck.
James (1 like)
I felt drawn in on the story. I Didn't feel like it was dragging on. I also liked the comic relief in the story it fit well. Im glad you had no narration too.... I look forward to possibly seeing this as an animated short. Keep up the passion within your team...
Anastasia (1 like)
This story was incredible! I love the pacing and moral of the story, especially the specification that Téa needs to let other people choose when to open up to her and not just have the characters agree to be friends with her because of the stunt she pulled. It shows the maturity and growth in Téa's journey and in the new friendships! I'm proud of your team! :)
Sanchez (1 like)
I absolutely love your style of visual storytelling, you can really feel the uniqueness of the story through the visuals! The wholesome message is great too. Well done!
Tyler (1 like)
Love the idea of just using pictures and visual storytelling!
Bethany (1 like)
This is very creative! I like how it seems she wants everyone to not live their life in a bubble and to explore the world around them. One thing I find unclear is that why does everyone want to stay in their bubbles? Something to make it stronger is to go slower on the captions so one can read them slower.
Kara (1 like)
Excellent visual storytelling! I am so amazed by the expressive characters you developed in this reel. I can relate to this story and your character's feelings. I found the font size of the captions to be too small for the captions. I think a larger font with more beats to read the text would really help strengthen this wonderful work.
Erika (1 like)
Hi Cynthia! Wow this so well made, props for doing it all on your own! I love your drawing style and how expressive you were able to make Tea and the other characters. Her antics are really entertaining and I like the way the energy naturally builds as she tries harder and harder to get people’s attention.
One thing I think could have made it stronger is if there was a little more time put to the resolution and character development. She apologized for going too far, but didn’t get a chance to change her behavior in any way or have a new normal. I think after seeing how hard she worked to get their attention it would be nice to see them go off and do something together. Even a nice walking-into-the-sunset ending could add a bit more of a bow at the end. But that’s really a minor note. All in all, fantastic job!!
Aranza (1 like)
Hello! I love the message of your story! How everyone lives inside their bubble is a great example of our society.
I understand that people got angry when she poped their bubble but I think that part of the message is that everyone is so trapped in their own mind and need to explore the world, so when they get angry and just came back to their bubble they don't have this change...
I like how the girl understands to respect that other people likes their bubbles :)
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