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Weighted- Act one

Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:​

  • What did you like or love about this submission?

  • What did you find confusing or unclear?

  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Luis

The artwork is amazing! And the story has me hooked, too!

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Gavin

Looks like a professional did this, the drawings were on point and at some moments looked realistic.

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Malia

WOW! This is incredible! The details are crazy! I love how it is all in black and grey!

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Sam

Very professionally done! the art work is easy to understand and flows with the story well!

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Pengyu

I like the artwork and your voice, but the storyline is a bit unclear and I think you could add more details to each minor beat to improve the overall story.

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Kervin

ideas are ok

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Willy

very good idea

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Myleyby

very cool art style

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Oscar

The artwork and voice over was great. However the storyline has me flabbergasted, I bet it will be a bit more clear in the next act!

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Jack

I like the artwork, the voiceover, and the sound effects, however, the storyline confused me a little.

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Julian

I love the artwork. I found that the story was somewhat confusing. I would definetely suggest more voice actors and more sound effects.

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Rushmi

I like how much it already seems like part of a short film, and your artwork is really nice! I'm not too sure where this story is going, though, but I think it'll be a bit more clear in Act 2 :)

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Elyse (1 like)

I love your art work and I loved the idea of this story that I saw in the week 4 story spine submission. I was a little confused that the wind was only mentioned in the beginning and seemed like a minor point when it is a big part of the story. What are the story points that are important to include in Act 1that will lead to Act 2 and 3? Is the relationship with the roommate important? Your use of shading and values is really great in the art.

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Gabriella (1 like)

I love this story so far I hope that more people join. You are doing an amazing job tho the art work is lit.

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Hazel (1 like)

I love the art style and the story seems interesting.

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Hopefully I can recruit some of my friends to be voice actors, because trying to one-man-band this is proving difficult.

Team:
MintyFresh
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