Leo`s Story Spine
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I like the drawings. I thought that this giant play more in the story. I think that to make more stronger the story. Maybe the main character could more selfish and hesitated when he let his treasures.
Great imagery! I love the panels and shots you used. Your voice is brilliant too!
I agree with most of the people here. I loved the symbolism and moral of the story. Greed can lead us to very lonely outcomes and makes us delusional at times.
I would maybe suggest to make Leo's needs and wants stronger and clearer to the audience, so we can understand his overall actions a bit better. As for why the heart might be such a bad thing from his view or to to make his insecurities more visible, so we can see why he agrees to the challenge.
But all an all! Imma go right ahead what you did last week! Can't wait to know more about Leo!
I love it, your voice it's the best!
I love the moral, the only thing I was confused of it's if then the heart was still like the begin or if people stop to ask him favour and start to live them passion instead.
I can wait to see more, :)!
Great job. I love the symbolism of the big heart and Leo's backpack getting so big.
It's unclear to me why he is so against the heart in the beginning. His wants are not clear to me: is the worshipping of the heart preventing him to see the world or own things?
Love the ending and the great drawings.
Good job. I love the symbolism of the heart of the townspeople. I just read an article the other day that said that scientists have found no proof that the soul and spirit are generated by the brain. I agree with your theory that it comes from the heart. It does raise the eternal question of…how do you mend a broken heart?
Hello, I love your drawing styles and how you apply color and shadows.
In regards of the Story Spine, I think it is a little unclear to me the character development or the thrive of the main character in order to go back to his hometown. Perhaps you might try changing the reason why he went back, or was it always greed or ambition what made him go back?
Overall, nice job!
I really love the unique small town you have created and something that intrigues me to hear more about, is the exotic journey's Leo goes on. I'd be curious to know why Leo doesn't trust the heart and why they leave more specifically. Also something I would like made clearer is why Leo accepts the challenge of this stranger/other traveler. This story feels like it has some universal themes like family, but I didn't quite understand what family means to Leo until the end and I wonder if mentioning Leo's family towards the beginning would help this payoff even more at the end. Lastly, I want to mention that the treasure aspect reminds me of the story The Alchemist which is a great adventure story with universal themes. I really dig this one and look forward to what you do to develop it more.
I like the art and the idea of this story. I'm a bit confused on why he has to escape his home town, are people not allowed to leave the heart? also why does he need to wear a disguise to come into his town? The only other thing I wish was that the tension came to late and was fixed to early. Maybe he breaks the heart sooner and then has to collect treasure to fix it. Overall love the direction
Hi-- I wish I could comment on your story but I am deaf and I cannot understand your story's script in spoken form... I thought you'd caption your story after you started with "Once upon a time" text in your first slide. heh. Sorry!
Hi, here we send you the script we made for this video
- Once upon a time: There was a small town that asked for everything to a giant heart that lived inside a mountain. Leo, a curious boy who wanted to know more about the world didn’t trust the heart and escaped town. Leo decided to travel the world, live as many adventures as he could and get as many treasures as he finds.
- Every day. Leo traveled to the most exotic places on earth, and collected the most wonderful treasures anyone could imagine.
- Until one day. Another traveler challenged Leo to get a rare piece that was lacking from his collection, a piece of stone so rare that there was only one place on earth where he could find it, inside the mountain of his hometown.
- Because of that. Leo went in disguise to his hometown and he went directly to the mountain, he looked for an entrance, but after some time he realized that the mountain was changing, and the entrance changed too.
- Because of that. He climbed to the top of the mountain so he could see the entrance clearly, but once at the top he felt inside the mountain, on top of the heart and broke it in a million pieces.
- Because of that. He could see in the broken pieces what each person of the town has left in return for the favors of the heart, he saw how his parents had left their curiosity for the world on exchange for the safety or their kid.
- Until finally. Leo put back together all the pieces of the heart and gave all his treasures in exchange so the heart can make him a favor, return to their parents their true ambitions and curiosities
- And ever since then. Leo shares with his parents their adventures and curiosities, traveling with them and listening to their stories.
- The moral of the story is. Don’t judge other people's choices when you can share yours with them.
Thank you for doing that! Maybe next time you can put the captions/transcript in the video description so I can see your progress too!
I like your drawings, the way you play with the lighting (glow from the heart) etc. Just wanted to tell you that was what intrigued me.
As for the story, it feels sort of like exchanging the soul to the devil type of deal when someone has to give away something to the heart, doesn't that seem a bit weird? Or a piece of one's soul in any way. Would it make more sense that each person had to leave behind an object? And maybe Leo, after collecting all of the treasures of the world, has to give it all away to repair the heart? hm just a thought. :)
David (1 like)
What a cool setting! I like the concept of the giant heart, really creative! What happens to the guy who challenges him though? Maybe he could appear as sort of a main antagonist towards the end?
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This is the story of how Leo found meaning in his life
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