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Pepi ii

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  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Marlene (2 likes)

I like the concept and the art work which does have a number of different shot choices and makes the full use of camera movement but i think it might do you some good to learn some of the proper terminology for some of the things in the story, which should only take a little bit of research because it distracted me a bit. In fact, just avoid using the word thingy unless it is in the actual dialogue. Also if something was shown on screen you do not necessarily need to repeat it again, just to save time because the audience already knows. The characterisation is not quite there, because I can tell the mummies are angry, but not much else about them, the magic they possess, or the people trying to stop or are affected by them. While yes there was an end goal that they did achieve, it feels as though there was a lack of a point to the story, it doesnt quite make you wonder about really If they are right or wrong, or any different perspective on it. It kind of just happens. I think to get the most out of this story, it has to be much much longer, so you have the time to really get into the characters themselves rather than the reactions and being able to focus on each individuals motivations and challenges. This story truly has potential and your narration does bring a lot of life to it, I think you just need more time to really dive deep into a story like this, which would be best suited for something more like a feature film.

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Alejandro (1 like)

nice

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Franklin (1 like)

I like your video

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Finn (1 like)

I like your concept but the ending could use some work, how many mummies were there because they had enough to take over England?

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Mckenna (2 likes)

I really like your story, I think you could maybe take away some pictures and use some sound or background music. Great pictures and shots!

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Jesse (1 like)

Great concept.

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Sophia Rose Imelda (2 likes)

I can't get over how great this concept is!! Your shot composition and stellar, and so is your narration. Congratulations!

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This is a satire about colonialism set in 1940s London.
the protagonist (or antagonist depending on your perspective)
is Pepi the second; an insecure mummy who is as violent as he is cunning.

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The meea Experirnce
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