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7

Week

Night Light Storyreel

I like that the main character was able to solve his problem through reflection. His personality really came out. I thought the fireflies made an interesting cast.
The artwork was good.

7

Week

Story Reel 3

I like the setup of the story- a tenacious photographer connecting with a strange camera.
I wonder what powers the camera carries, how will the character change under the camera's powers?
Is there a back story to the camera? Will the story reveal how the camera came to be at the thrift store?

7

Week

Terra's act 1,2 and 3

I thought you did a good job presenting a problem, building to a climax, and resolving the story. The lesson was a good one.
The earth quake seems more extreme than the rest of the story. I wonder how you could build in that her aunt has powers- or show more of a reaction to the first earth quake so that it fits in better with the story. (I like the idea of a curse causing an earth quake- it just seems like it is more extreme than the rest of the story.)

7

Week

Acts 1, 2, & 3

The drawings are well done. I like that she makes friends, which is the goal given at the beginning.
I wondered if you could highlight some interactions she has with the plant before the bullies get involved. Does she like the plant at the beginning?
Are there any good plants in her life? It seems sad that she gives up all on plants because one of them was bad.

7

Week

Gold rush

I liked how his name connected to the story. Also, the lesson he learned about family is a good one.
The story is a complete story, there is nothing unclear.
To make it better, it would be interesting to add more personality traits to the miner. For example, can you give more insight into his attitude about money? You mentioned he mined to make money- did he make enough to be able to stop working? Was he a miser with money? It is clear his family misses him. Before the accident did he miss his family? How can you show how he thought about his family?

6

Week

Austin's Story

The drawings are clear. The use of ghosts to represent emotions was a good idea.
There was not any sound. If the images tell the story without narration, it would be helpful if the images were on the screen longer before the next one comes on.

6

Week

Manolo- act 1&2

This is a creative idea.
I wonder what Sofia does while her dog is gone?
I am hopeful that there is a solution coming that allows dogs and people to live together again.

6

Week

The War

I thought having the main character turned into a crab was interesting. I was cheering for him when he was changed back.
The story seems to stop before it is complete.
I wonder how you can use the aspects of the crab to help the wizard escape. For example, the hard sharp claws allowed him to cut through the bars in a way that he could not have done in his normal form. Also, what crab lessons does he carry with him once he returns to his form? It would be helpful if you gave more detail about the items that give him his power back.

6

Week

Weighted- Act 2

The drawings are great! Colin's challenge is pretty straightforward, yet you added in interesting beats to keep the story going. For example, focusing on the shoes was a fun twist.
I'm excited to learn what happens next!

6

Week

Great Protector Pt. 2

I liked the tension around the trials- the various different characters show how excited they are, which builds tension.
How serious are these trials? Is it a fight to the death or a typical intense competition?
Giving the judge a more complex character might be interesting- a biased judge would create more layers the characters have to battle.

6

Week

Act 1 & Act 2 Storyreel

I liked the complexity of the character Clara. She expresses a wide range of emotions.
I was unclear how Clara reacted internally when the plant attacked.
Does Clara think she needs to stop the plant or is part of her ok with having the plant attack people?

6

Week

Greens world

I like that you have a lot of drawings to tell your story.
I was unclear about why the Greens wanted to go to the human world.
The pictures were sideways, which made it hard to follow.

6

Week

Covid Aventuras

I liked that you had them travel through a portal to get into the future.
How did they know that the future would have the vaccines?
Were they at all concerned that they would change their reality for the worse when they traveled?
Adding challenges along the way would add suspense. What hurdles did they face ?

6

Week

ferris and gordon crazy insane adenturwe ft mozila fox

I liked that the rustaceans were able to identify the negative pulls in life and walk away in order to pursue positive growth.
I wondered why they decided to leave?
Can you give more reactions? What was it about the mountain that they thought was was not for them?

5

Week

Act one storyreel

The drawings are wonderful.
The opening was confusing.
It might help to include narration, not just the characters talking

5

Week

Act 1 Storyreel

I like your story- it has both a before friendship and a layer of serious threats.
I thought everything was clear- I thought the way you unveiled the "mysterious past" was well done.
I wonder what other animals know about the past.

5

Week

Week 5

I like the transition between the 'real' world and alternative reality- using the book as a portal was a good idea
Were they at all suspicious of the strange person in a wizard at the library?
Maybe provide more of their reaction to the new world before the story starts up again.

5

Week

A Mysterious Mirror

I like the suspense - the looking and ignoring her phone and the mirror raised a lot of questions.
There was not too anything I was confused about
I wonder if you could give more internal thinking- giving voice to her decision to enter the cave -or even ignore the phone- would help reveal her personality.

5

Week

Joeʻs Act 1

I like the cliffhanger at the end of ACT 1. I also like the ups and downs of Joe's life.
There was nothing I found unclear
Maybe clarify Joe's thoughts toward his old-partners

4

Week

Story Spine

I like the drawings and the coming-of-age storyline.
It was unclear what each friend brought to the other- what lessons did Mars learn from Shock? Also- what was the rush? ( "as quickly as possible")
Mars was lonely. Can Mars gain more than companionship from the relationship?

4

Week

Leaf

I liked the moral of the story- to never give up
I think it was unclear how the leaf was surviving during the travels to find a friend- was the leaf browning? What was keeping the leaf from decomposing?
I wonder what other trials or failures leaf had along the way besides walking around that needed to be overcome? What lessons was leaf learning along the way?

4

Week

Week 4 submission

I liked the clarity of places. The characters moved from named place to named place.
It was unclear how searching for food led to being put in jail- if this was in the early days of the US gov't's western expansion, the characters likely would have been able to hunt.
I suggest that the time in Cody, Wyoming be given more definition. Give more specifics about the arrest and the departure from jail

4

Week

Story Spine

I liked the fact that the characters have backstories that help direct the action.
It was a little unclear what caused the main character to change her mind about getting involved in solving the problem- what was the incident that convinced her to change her course?
Show character reflection- overcoming negative events from the past usually involves reflecting and processing the events.

4

Week

Derek story board

I liked the moral of the story- it seems loosely based on King Midas.
One unclear part was a description of the the character's demise- showing examples of how he changed under the influence of the money would be helpful.

4

Week

Team Mitches Story Spine

I like both the twist and the clarity of the quest- to first find the grandson, then to escape from the company. The moral was good too.
Was there a reason that Mitch would have been sent into a war zone by the company? What is the motivation for sending him there?
At the end, Mitch continues to work, but on his own. Giving Mitch as clearer task connected to the moral of the story might be interesting.

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