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Week

A Cigarette in Love - Write for Animation Team

I like how Cigarette is an unanimated object that takes on human characteristics and is on a mission to understand a complex emotion: love. I'm confused about why Cigarette thinks being with the woman would mean that they are being loved. I assume that "being with the woman" would mean that Cigarette will get smoked and turned to ashes... I suggest elaborating on what Cigarette needs to learn: true love is about making sacrifices. In the process of getting closer to the woman, Cigarette learns that she is trying to quit smoking and sacrifices themselves in an attempt to help her quit.

2

Week

Meet Isabella

My favourite part about this character is her honesty about feeling lonely. It takes quite a lot to admit that you are feeling lonely. Isabella also demonstrates her desire to make friends but seems unsure how to take the first step in building friendship. She is also aware that she may come across as unfriendly during initial interactions with other people. I think it is unclear why Isabella is hesitant to make new friends and why she thinks she may come across as unfriendly to others. You could make this character stronger by adding a back story to clarify these areas. For example, maybe Isabella is hesitant to make new friends because her family moves around a lot due to her parents' jobs. She could come across as unfriendly because she knows that any friendship she makes will be short-lived and she doesn't want to be hurt.

2

Week

Meet Ms. Nguyen

My favourite part about this character is that she is an imposter: a monster pretending to be a school teacher. This is brilliant because I believe most people could relate to this since it is not uncommon to encounter a teacher who gave you a hard time at school. What I find unclear is how will Ms. Nguyen extract this rare source of energy from teenagers and transfer this to her world without her students or other people figuring this out. I suggest making Ms. Nguyen the school counsellor to make the character/story stronger. School counsellors work one-on-one with students for the most parts. Ms. Nguyen could switch from acting out of self-interest (i.e. extracting rare energy for her world) to truly caring about her students' well-being.

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Eva's Comments

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