Not you? Click here

arrow&v

Explanation (Optional)

8

Week

Lost and Found

Aww actually Soul Shelter is my favorite location as well! Glad that it made you smile ;) Thanks for your feedback!

8

Week

I (Don't?) Want to Believe

To be honest, I have some limited interaction with sci-fi genre, BUT your story was so interesting to watch! I guess it's because of all the catchy dialogues and cute art (like the scene in which Oliver smiles naively while he is being dognapped =) ). Also i looooved how you voiced over the transitions, it was so funny😂. Just real quick, I was a little confused about dad coming back home. From what I have understood, I was kidnapped by aliens and that same UFO came back and he finally got free when Jodi smashed it? Let me know if I got it wrong. I really liked your sense of humor and story frame, which really engaged me to your story ;) AND Hoorah for your final submission!!

8

Week

Toro

Amazing arts and so well-planned out character arc!!! Just loved watching your reel :) Great job!

8

Week

Dream of Courage

Hi Taylor!
I'm sooo happy to see your final work :) Loved how your story has developed since the beginning of this session! Also your dialogues and voice acting are so expressive, nice job!

8

Week

Zoe

Hi Fiona, I loved your art! It was clear, expressive, and stylish :) I guess what you can do to improve your reel is add in just a little more details (dialogue, sounds, or even a little more drawings) to convey your point in a more intense way. Still, I have to admit that I've enjoyed the current version very much and it was so pleasing to listen to your narration. Great job!

8

Week

Tails of a Hollywood Chinchilla

Aww I loved a little twist in the end! I am curious about what has changed Sabrina's mind. Is she having a little ohana moment with the chinchillas? Also It was so fun how Piper might still be dreaming of the Hollywood, it just seems more reasonable :)

8

Week

Porcelain bird

Hey Enkhee :)
Your arts are sooo pleasing to watch! Also loved your message and how you've creatively and heartwarmingly unfolded throughout your story :)

8

Week

FOUND

Wow wow wow!
I loved your use of sound, its quality was on another level! Also, your storyboarding was visually pleasing and highly conveying. At first, I got a little confused by the boy suddenly appearing, but I could understand on my second view. What I think you can do the strengthen that scene is to have a little buildup - maybe you can show the boy's feet approaching the dog, or you can also present the boy right after a taxi crosses right in front of the dog. I totally loved your dialogue, which succinctly yet surely provided an emotional hook to engage with a new character. Great work!

8

Week

Lost and Found

Ahhhh Nova! Your comments are always so interesting and pleasing to read ;D
I agree with the voice acting, I was so amazed by how they've exactly expressed my intentions! And about the drawings, I'm so relieved it was enough --frankly, I was running out of time 😂 I love your suggestion about using more of the hotel concept and adding some happy memories! For now, I'm not quite sure whether i'd be working on this project further, but once I take enough break, I know I'll come back at some point ;)

For some more details, yes the console has to be redrawn every time as Mr. Lost's power is not strong enough -- he's a basic pencil, I guess if he had been a pen, it might have last longer than one time use -- and that's why he was getting minutely shorter every time a new console was appearing. And Stella was 4-6 when she was gone, and now she is something around 13-15.

Lastly! Thanks soooo much for giving me great feedback and encouraging me! Without it, Stella would've reunited with her dad😉

8

Week

Lost and Found

Hi Enkhee! Wowww I totally love the idea that Mr. Cassidy was lost in the process of exploring the city for his article! Thanks for suggestion ;)

8

Week

Lost and Found

Hey Samuel, I'm so relieved to hear that! I was actually very concerned about emotional build-ups😅 Thanks for your appreciation!

8

Week

Lost and Found

Thanks, Julie :) I'm so happy to hear that !

8

Week

Lost and Found

Aww I'm so glad that you could bond with my work emotionally ;)
Thanks so much for enjoying it!

7

Week

Week 7, by Jiwoo :)

Hi Megan :)
Thanks for keeping track of my work! I'm so glad that you liked what I've done with the Lost and Found city! It was actually the starting point of this whole story. Mr. Cassidy does reunite with his family, and I'm planning to show it as an epilogue with a family picture posted in the local newspaper!

7

Week

Week 7, by Jiwoo :)

Hey Nova :)
What a considerate feedback and constructive suggestion! It actually pointed out the concerns I was having with my recently revised version. I would definitely work on my storyboard to show than tell, and it was interesting how you mentioned the newspaper advertisement! I was actually planning to use Mr. Cassidy's picture as a transition! Thanks for sharing your idea :)

7

Week

Week 7, by Jiwoo :)

Hi Kim:)
First of all sorry to hear that you have been going through a situation that can be very stressful, and at the same time, I'm amazed how you handle both your life and passion! I definitely agree with cutting down the details, and hopefully, in my final version, much of the info would be shown not told. Really appreciate your advice, and thanks for liking my story!

7

Week

Sam’s Acts 1 Through 3

Hi Sam :)
The montage of Leo growing up gave me chills! It was almost like the intro montage of UP. I'd agree with the others about cutting down details on the intro. For some suggestions, I was a little confused with the shot at 3:25, maybe you can show Leo's perspective briefly? Like how he made the sign on the moon? Overall, the music was amazing and your arts were very pleasing to see. Nice job!

7

Week

Act 3 Mona

Hi, team Aartvarks :)
I've been watching Mona's story for the past few weeks, and am so happy to see how it ended.
What I loved about the ending is that not only did Mona figure out what to do with her life, but she inspired others to break out from their comfort zones and actually live the lives of their own will. The pacing of each scene was perfect and loved how the song went along with your story :) Thanks for working on such a heartwarming story!

7

Week

Upside Down to Right Side Up - Storyreel Act 1,2,3

Hi team MR Creative Productions,
First of all, I loved your dialogues! It made your story much more lively :) Also, I loved the moral that Iris's mom says, which explained the whole reason that she has been upside down. Just like what Klaas said, giving some hints of the goldfish in the earlier stage of the act would make your story stronger! And I was just a little confused with the connection between the moral and Iris's trauma, as what the moral says seems to indicate that the reason that Iris is upside down is because of judgment and criticism. What I suggest is perhaps to say that Iris has gone upside down after her goldfish's death because she cried so much in her school that children started to make fun of her, and that gave her some trauma, I guess?!

I really appreciate how you have revised your work for the past few weeks! It must have been challenging yet you did it :)
Great job and I'll see the final version at the exhibition!

7

Week

Good Spirits

Hi Josh and Chris,

First of all, loved the world and characters that you guys came up with! It is very creative and well established. The similar situations in which Bailey and Sam are posed (not having control over their life) gave a great parallel amongst them and helped build up the anticipation of their relationships! It was interesting how each of them had their own difficulties. I was curious how Sam was suddenly able to notice Bailey's existence, as it seemed like he didn't throughout the rest of his life. Is it because of the brief break that Sam had? Also, I wanted to know more about why Bailey's species take their jobs of manipulating humans so seriously. Are they working for someone else? Or is it just to keep the balance and peace? I think giving more backgrounds to the spirits would make your story even better than now! Great job for the past 7 weeks and look forward to your final submission!

7

Week

Friend Shaped Acts 1-3

Hi M.A.D. Catapult!
I loved all the dynamic facial expressions you had for your characters. It made your story rich, lively, and interesting. The reason for Sam's shy personality was very well explained in act three and was relatable. Also, W's sleflessness was quite moving yet heart-aching. All the emotional build-ups for both characters surely made your story 3dimensional. Everything was clear and well explained to me! If I have to pick a little unclearness, that would be the line "Sam wanted this time to be different, because W was different". Does it mean that Sam wanted to take some action and try to engage in the relationship more actively because W gave faith to her? Let me know if I have guessed it wrong. Loved your ending, in which two of them compensated for another, and great job! Big applause to your 7 weeks of hard work!

7

Week

Sheldon takes flight

Hi team the Deep Inkers
I loved how you used the characteristic of penguins to work as the obstacle of the story! Also, it was interesting to see the critical reflection of the school, which reminded me of some of my personal experiences. I was not so clear if there is any reason that grandfather needs to be ill. The school already seems to have given enough obstacles.

Perhaps you can maybe say that the grandfather was sick from the beginning, and told Sheldon that he wanted to visit his homeland for once in his life. So that's why Sheldon goes to school to fly, wastes his time and loses his grandpa in the process. After his death, maybe Sheldon can give up his plan for a couple of days until he sees an old picture of him and his grandpa flying a kite. Then he can be inspired to make planes, fly to the island and sprinkle grandpa's ashes on the beach.

Well, this was just my idea to make things a little more dramatic, but your current version also makes sense and seems to have its unique voice! Great job :)

6

Week

Bad Timing - Acts 1 & 2

Hi, Team Discovery Channel :)
Your story has a strong premise! The structure is very well established and I can see Leslie's wants and obstacles clearly. Also, I'm not sure whether it is because of the facial expressions or your art style, your pictures have a very comical vibe! It was pleasing to see all your works. Great job !!

6

Week

Bubble Pop Act 1 & 2

Hi, team Cool :)
Your story reminds me of a covid situation as well as a digital-addicted society!
I'm personally curious about the purpose of bubbles in the world you have created. Is it for hygiene/safety? Or is it a mobility device?
Also, I think your story can be even stronger if the driving force for Tea's want is revealed in the earlier stage. Doing so would definitely help the audience to emotionally engage in your story :) It must have been challenging to change an already established story! You should really be proud of yourself!

6

Week

Act 2 Mona

Hi team Aartvarks ;)

I have to admit that I LOVE YOUR STORY!!
It is well structured, Mona's wants and obstacles are very clear and her emotional development is also very relatable. Your arts all made sense, and I especially liked the shot when every camera pointed out Mona and flashlights were surrounding her. I think you did a great job with lighting/toning there. I would love to see how the story ends :)

arrow&v
Filter comments by week

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Jiwoo's Comments

Please wait while we load your amazing content

Our goal for Story Xperiential is to foster an educational platform that actively remains a safe space for all users to bring their authentic voices and engage in learning free of judgment and ridicule, and where all cultural and gender backgrounds, learning differences and ability levels are welcomed and celebrated for their uniqueness and potential to inspire all of us. We do not condone story content that promotes violence or hate.

Privacy Policy

Questions? Contact us at 
help@storyxperiential.com