Not you? Click here

arrow&v

Explanation (Optional)

8

Week

Coven Cat-Astrophe

Hey there! I love it, and It's very impressive how is such shot time you where able to tell all your story. I liked it and I thought it was funny the cat wanted to cook for his human, and because of that all the mess started but the cat found a solution for the birthday. Very fun, very structured and complete. Thank you for such a fun little story!

8

Week

First Day of School

Hey there, I found it very interesting that a wolf is allowed to go to a human school as a student. I am intrigued to know more about this world. I hope you finish your story even after the class is over because I have the impression this is only act 1, which by the way looks very fun. Good luck!

8

Week

Lookin' Lucky

Hey there, I love what you got so far. The music and all the movement and transition is very catchy. The use of color with that green dice is very smart and it helps me understand that maybe all the luck is coming from there. I get a glimpse of how are main character is and his personality. I think that is is only act 1, so I hop you finish your story even after this class is over. Good luck!

8

Week

The Event

Hey there, I really like your drawings and so far the story seems promising. The editing, sound and voice acting is on point. However it seems like you are missing act 2 and 3, I hope you do finish them even after this class is over. I seems like a very fun story to watch. Good luck!

8

Week

The Thief

Hi there, I like the drawings and te character building is very strong. I am very invested in the story and I am sure the rest of it is very cool and interesting. I understood everything that you wanted to tell and I think the concept is very cool. However I have the impression that this is only act 1, maybe you didn't had time to finish it all, so I hope you finish it even after these class is over. Good luck!

8

Week

Porcelain bird

Hey there! Very Nice sweet story. I understood what was happening and the drawings where very nice. I liked the building at the begging and how with sound you showed that the bird was becoming a living animal. I hope he learns how to fly. Nice job!

7

Week

Orion the Brave - Acts 1,2 & 3

Hey there, I appreciate the drawings and music, the music really helps with the emotions for the story. I understand Orion and his guilt. I am confused if this story is a flash back all on it's own or if this is actually happening in real time. I think Orion is very brave and I ove how there is an entire world make of constellations. It's so sad that everyone gets destroyed. I like how he gets one like try to safe earth and lastly he does and recovers his self confidence. Can't wait to see the final product!

7

Week

Act 1-3

Hey there, first of all, I appreciate the music and sound effects, it really helps me feel and empathize with the story and it does help build tension and the payoff in the climax is great. To be fair, I think Mr. Schnee is very cool. I like how he came up with a solution on act 3, and how he also please people, while keeping the city safe. This is such a creative story and I congratulate your team because is very fun to watch and listen. Good luck with the final work

7

Week

Act 1, 2, 3 Storyreel

Hey there, I love the music, nice addition to your story, It really guides us through the mood of the story. I love how the story developed and it made me very emotional, so congrats for that. I like how the build up for their relationship improved to the point that we can now resiliate with toro, and understand why he chooses to stay with hermit. think the obstacles that toro has to go through are very strong and really puts him in challenge and I am very please with the flow of the story! everything is very clear and I can't wait to see the final product! good luck

7

Week

Cornelius - Act 1, 2, 3

Hello Shayleen, I love you story and the different moments of the character arch that you've build, I think is very strong and very relatable. I am confused if this is the final end to act 3 or if your missing a part of it, because it feels inconclusive. I understand that maybe you wanna leave the story open, but maybe give. little hit to guide the audience into a conclusion, or a close up of his face determined on what he should do, and/or just showing us the last path he chooses to take. I would love to see Cornelius apologizing to the geco, this would give me the reaffirmation that he is a nice person after all. I am excited see your final result! Good Luck!

7

Week

Week 7, by Jiwoo :)

Hi Jiwoo, I've seen all of your work, and I Love the story and the concept of it. However I am very confused on why you changed the structure of your story, I really enjoyed the progress you had on your previews act 1 and 2, and they flowed a little better and explained the main point very creatively. What I liked about your previews versions of the story is that you managed to achieve so many different emotional connections with just one action, but in this version es very diluted and I am finding it very hard to connect with Stella and the story. My suggestion is to go back to your previews act 1 and 2, and maybe if you where having some issues on how to end it, twick some stuff here and there, but keeping the story spine.

On the previews versions, we as an audience where introduced to all the information in a very friendly and easy way, while I feel that in this version is just a lot of information and a lot of dialogue, which I think is amazing and I know you put in so much effort, but your visual story telling on the preview version was very strong and I encourage you to rescue it. Good luck

7

Week

Smoke Me - A Cigarette in Love

Hey there, apart from my comments on the last submission about how it's a bit unclear that she is trying to quit smoking, I love this story, the drawings the music, the effects, its so cool and cute and emotional. I think you have a very strong climax and suspension on when the cigarette is deciding weather or not to jump to save his love life, even though she doesn't really knows what is happening. And I love how he ended up with the one he loves and she was able to achieve her goal too. It's a beautiful story and I am very exited to see the final result. Good luck !

6

Week

Liliana act 1 & 2

Hey there, is the first time is see your work and I love the drawings and the character of Liliana, and the fact that she is hispanic. I gotta admit that her Diablico is ver scary and I wonder how she finds confort in such scary toy. I'm not very familiar with the Panamanian culture, so I'm not sure what they represent, but I'll help to explain a bit of what they mean so that Is not so scary. It is confusing to me what happened to her on her arms and why they had to move in the past, and In my mind is because that toy is possessed hahaha, but I'm sure thats not the real reason. It's kinda sad that her friends are being so racist, but I get the point. It could be useful that maybe they are filling insecure for something different than just a different culture? I hope Liliana finds new friends. Good luck

6

Week

Act 2

Hey there, I'm a fan of Mr. Schnee, and how he is whiling to change his image to be more likable and to keep the city safe. The story flowed easily and I like all the new onces form act 1 and act 2. The details of the posters and the elections are great and I finally understood why the volume risk was so bad. I think everything was clear, and the drawings helped a lot. Good luck!

6

Week

Act 1 & 2 Storyreel

Hey there, I love these duo, they are perfect for each other, and the drawings are great because they are basically opposites. I like how loyal hermit is, based on just one promise with someone he just met, and I can really see some milestones here on their friendship. I am wondering if maybe Hermit has any other interests apart from helping toro? I love this story, keep up the amazing work!

6

Week

Cornelius - Act 1 & 2

Hey Shayleen, I am so excited on how the story is turning out, it's easy to follow, there is an emotional connection with the main character, there are obstacles that build up and create tension for the final climax. I overall enjoy your story very much. I find it confusing why his mom was crying when he came back, was it because his son lost his color? If so, I feel like his parents are a bit of the antagonist here, if thats the case, it would be very fun to accentuate on that, cause it could have a very nice outcome. However, is up to you and I am sure what ever you decide will be great for the story!

6

Week

Week 6, by Jiwoo :)

Hey Jiwoo, I'm so happy to see the story evolve, and how so many of my doubts from the story spine are now answered. I love the story and al the beats that you added to act 2, creating a flowing story with incrementing obstacles and a time line press ion that is perfect to build up the final climax. I just find confusing how did the pencil find out that she was lying? It's just out of the blue and I am very curious to know how this happened, because this is a very emotional moment and an important character arch moment to. I suggest maybe to make this point stringer, that while she was with the librarian, the pencil was trying to find the book on his own, and instead he found Stellas book? and he was tempted to read to and this is how he finds out? I'll leave it up to you! good luck

6

Week

SMOKE ME

Hey there, I love your drawings and the personality that you give to each of your characters, plus the music and sound effects are amazing and really help to tell the story. Seeing it all together, I now understand that the magical part at the beginning of the story is very entertaining to watch. It is confusing to me, how is she trying to stop smoking? all we see her do is smoke, so it doesn't really help us understand that her goal is to actually stop smoking. You could make this idea stronger, if we show a calendar where she each time smokes less and less often, and this is how the both start spending more time together. For example, something that maybe is lacking here that your put on your story spine, is how the cigaret sees her dancing, and playing the guitar and reeding and doing staff, apart from smoking, and this could also help make the idea of her leaving the cigarettes stronger. Good luck! and I can't wait to see the final result.

5

Week

Act One Storyreel

Hey there, once again, your drawings are great! congratulations! also I am very pleased with the story telling, I can really get an understanding who this character is and how he's life has changed unexpectedly. however, the story could be stronger if we had a more emotional moment to emphasize with him, because so far it feels like he kinda deserves what is happening to him. Apart from that, I love your work and I'm excited to see whats next!

5

Week

Cornelius - Act One

Hi Shayleen, I enjoyed your act 1, and the drawings. I loved the little houses in the trees as if it was a small society, I find that adorable and fun. I likes the being and hoe you explain how and why he is like this and we have a new point where he is now tempted to wear other peoples colors. I think is is very well laid out and everything was clear for me. I can't wait to see what happens next!

5

Week

Week 5, by Jiwoo :)

Jiwoo, I think the part where the parents forgot to pick her up from school, is actually normal for a dysfunctional family. At least from my personal option, my parents, specially my mom, used to forget to pick me up all the time, and back then we didn't had cellphones in school, so I would just be waiting for long hours until she finally came form me. I know this is maybe not the situation for every kid, but it's for sure not very distant from the reality of others. Maybe I would show a bit what the parents where doing and why they forgot.

5

Week

Week 5, by Jiwoo :)

Hi Jiwoo, you always find a way to surprise me. I now make so much more sense of the story spine. I loved the act 1, and I am so excited to see whats coming. I got to relate with Stella and that melancholic feeling of holding on to something that made you happy, to a memory that doesn't exist anymore. My parents are divorced and I too also still keep up some traditions we used to do, just to hold on to that feeling and I think this is such a powerful moment for the audience to emphasize with Stella. I didn't;t find anything unclear and I can't wait to se what happens next!

5

Week

Smoke Me - Act One

Hey there, I love your drawings and compositing, is always very fun to watch, I also enjoyed the music and sound effect you gave to it. However, I found a little confusing on why there is all this magic behind wishing to stop smoking, like why she has to wish for it and the it becomes this magic like in tinker-bell. Would that mean that everyone who wants to stop smoking, potentially this could happen to them to? I understand where this is coming from, however I feel like the story is very strong and maybe there don't need to be and explanation on why the cigarette has it's own mind and personality, I think it works without the magic part. I like your story and I am sure that whatever you decide is best for the story will work amazing. Good luck

5

Week

Act 1 - Aria

Skye, thank you soo much for all your feedback, it's been amazing and helpful, we'll have this ideas into consideration! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

5

Week

Act 1 Storyreel

Hey Brennan, wow, I gotta say I'm blown away! I'm following your story and this first act really answers all the questions I've been living on the past feedbacks. Now I understand more of Alex life and her motivations to make this decision. I love the drawings because I can really get a sense of her world and surroundings, I understand where she was and where she is gonna start her adventure at. I honestly don't find anything confusing or unclear, I really enjoyed it. I suggest making the "oh no" moment at the end of act 1, a little bit more a place of no return, a little bit more dramatic, like why can't she just quit right away and go back to her life? whats holding her there? Maybe showing a bit of the creative part of making dreams and what she could potentially do at some point in the company? Good luck!

arrow&v
Filter comments by week

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Manuela's Comments

Please wait while we load your amazing content

Our goal for Story Xperiential is to foster an educational platform that actively remains a safe space for all users to bring their authentic voices and engage in learning free of judgment and ridicule, and where all cultural and gender backgrounds, learning differences and ability levels are welcomed and celebrated for their uniqueness and potential to inspire all of us. We do not condone story content that promotes violence or hate.

Privacy Policy

Questions? Contact us at 
help@storyxperiential.com