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8

Week

Zoe

Your drawings are so clear and expressive! The story has so much character. I think sometimes like towards the second half, im not sure how the story relates to Zoe leaving her dead end job. I think thematically it shifts to something slightly different but still very entertaining to watch. Id also like to see more of how she was how to figure out the deal with the creature. And because your drawings are so strong I think certain parts dont need as much narration and it is already very clear.

8

Week

Moran

I think this is a strong beginning of the story and you have a strong foundation to build from. Though I would love to know what motivates Moran in life, what factors outside of his powers motivate him to do or evil? What kind of friends/family did he have that shaped his values and beliefs.

8

Week

Bad Timing

Really awesome and appealing characters. Would love to see more of them. The only recommendation would be maybe to have the pacing be quicker in some parts

8

Week

Herotown: Heroes Wanted

Hi Mary. Your story has a very solid structure and it has a lot of heart too! I liked the personal growth renee went through. Id love to know more about why heroes disappeared, and what did they have that normal citizens didnt? The ending was so wholesome, i like that she inspired others to help each other and foster a better community too.

8

Week

The Prisoner's Cat

Absolutely floored by your film. Tonally it was so gritty and grime, juxtaposed by the theme of hope and resilience of humanity. Your voice was really immersive and suit it so well. I like how you took the format of the story spine and weaved it into something different. It was very impactful and meaningful

4

Week

Mr Charcoal in Recovery-Land

Hi Diego, what a great message about being kind to ourselves and working within our capabilities, while not having unreachable expectations for ourselves. I really like the design of Mr. Charcoal. My question is, how does working on the horse farm help him realize what he needs in order to heal? What are his expectations for himself? Does he want to return to his past healthy state? Or does he have bigger goals he wished to achieve before he got injured?

4

Week

Worked Like A Dog - Story Spine

Love the art style! The images are very clear and appealing. I felt like the ending was a little rushed, if she learns to balance work and life, does she find a different job and learn to balance it better? I think if you wanted to keep the current ending, you could show how her manager at work mistreats her, and exploits her as a worker, and the moral could be to not stay in toxic work environments? Or If you want to keep the current moral, maybe she and her manager find a way to make up and she gets her job back.

4

Week

Smoke Me - Story Spine

Hi Pietro, this story is really fun in an unusual way. Although as a cigarette, wouldn't his dream be to be smoked by the girl? Perhaps it could create an interesting dynamic and more tension if the cigarette can speak to the girl, he is trying to convince her to keep smoking while she is trying to quit smoking. But the cigarette does not realize the damage he is causing the girl if she does not quit. Until finally, he realizes she could possibly die and then sacrifices himself in order to protect her. It could be a metaphor for a toxic relationship.

4

Week

Story Spine - Storm Hero

I love the character design of the main protagonist, and your illustrations are so good! I liked that he learned to work together with other heroes at the end, although I think it's a little bit sad that he had to give up on his dreams to be a game designer. Perhaps he can use his computer skills in some way to defeat the enemy at the end, and become a superhero part time while also keeping his job as a game designer :D

4

Week

Kyota's Story Spine

Awesome story and world building. I am wondering who Adrien is, and if the two had any relations before the body switch happened. Maybe if you established how different their personalities were from each other before they joined bodies, it would become more clear what type of obstacles that might pose to them after they are in one body.

4

Week

Grandpa & The Machine

Hi James, the story has a very heartwarming ending, Jim worked so hard to see his Grandpa again! I think to tie the story together more, maybe it could be established earlier on that Jim was into technology since he was young, and his grandpa encouraged his hobby, hence how he gets the idea of reviving his grandfather using science. And I wondered what is revived grandpa like? Is he a artificially intelligent hologram implanted with grandpa's memories? Or is it actually grandpa's soul brought back from the realm of the dead?

3

Week

Marin: A new friend, perhaps?

Awesome work! The world and characters feel very grounded, I really like the lighting, and the main character has an air of mystery, it makes me want to know more about the story! I think the little device the character in the back is holding is quite small and hard to see. I think if it is important to the story you could find a way to highlight it more. Really great drawing as a whole!

3

Week

Week 3: Caelus in his World Sketch

I really like the emotion of texture quality on this. You can really tell the character is in despair. I think you could make the foreground, mid ground and background more distinct by having more contrast in the tone. Maybe the foreground and character are darker and the city in the sky is lighter, or vice versa.

3

Week

Future Selves

I really like the linework and the contrast of no color vs colored characters, it reminds me of a papercut style animation. I think to make the story more clear, you could add in some background buildings of the college, so we know the setting.

3

Week

"I'll see you guys in Spring..."

I really like the contrast of how the bear is in the dark and the other animals in the light to show how he feels left out. You made great use of the perspective. Although both parties seem dissatisfied and its not immediately clear why that is, perhaps to add in some more detail from the story, on the outside world you could see some winter festivities going on, or winter animals enjoying their time, while the bear is inside looking sad and longing for the same.

3

Week

Racing towards his goal.

I really like the energy and framing of this shot, you can really feel the intensity of the moment. I would love to know what type of delivery he is making, maybe including that in this illustration could give it even more narrative quality.

3

Week

A Little Friend?

I really like the clarity of this drawing, the inclusion of clear foreground and background elements really guide the eye! And perhaps to give us a clue of what type of mischief the little stick man will cause, you could give it a more expressive pose/expression, as right now it looks fairly harmless!

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