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8

Week

The Story of Luis

Loved your story telling style. I thought it was going to be the Faust spline, sell your soul to the devil for the championship belt, or the 7th Seal, challenge Death to save the loved ones plot. Either one would’ve made this an excellent story. Very good storyreel anyway!

8

Week

Indigo Kid

Thanks James. It went right down to the wire. The moment I decided to throw in the towel on 3D game developing, I received a last day to sign up notice for Storyxperiential. I suddenly had about 600 3d assets that would be sitting around idle. Many of the assets I just saw their potential and acquired them thinking, one day I'll find a story to use them in. The course was perfect in explaining how to structure a story. I've already begun editing and scrubbing my story reel. I wonder what is next in the Pixar workflow? After the storyreel is refined and developed, does the scriptwriting begin. Does the design and development of actual 3D characters begin? LOL! Yes! I had to just do it, narration-wise. I've never liked my own voice, it's been deep and authoritative since the age of 14 or 15. Can you imagine being on the streets of Chicagoland and answering a challenge with a narrator voice? As a team of one I had to change hats constantly. Oddly enough, the 3D project I was working on prior to this course was driven by lip-sync, gestures, eye movement and emoting. It would have thrown my timeline way of track to have included those elements. Then there was the music. Half my earlier life I was a professional musician. Music always creeps into my daily grind and tasks. 'Need You Tonight' (You're my kind) and especially 'Sing A Mean Tune Kid' I thought were perfect. On the other hand I thought I was really pushing the limits by using 3D instead of drawing and didn't want to add disqualified for using unlicensed music material. So I jumped on the musical keyboard and composed my original, 'The Best Thing'. Lastly, I got distracted by all this Cryptocurrency, I thought I could develop some NFT Art. I lost 3-4 days in Week 6, building a Web 3 game. It didn't work on completion. Tech support was nonexistent. Sales told me that I should subscribe to their service for $190/month. Huh? The demo doesn't work! Exit stage left. Back to Storyxperiantial. I'm grateful for this opportunity. I can see now how as an artist I can best express myself. I was always a quiet kid and heard that the quiet ones were the ones you had to look out for. I was quiet because I was trying to control Astral Projection and traveling to other worlds each night when I lay down to sleep. I was tired already, walking to school. Thus Indigo Kid. My father was a Steelworker, incredibly, he worked with Joe Jackson, who lived a block away, and he was from New Orleans. He certainly did not understand me, nor did he try. Sometimes I don't think he even liked me. He had a house full of extended family to provide for, plus his own 7 children. Indigo Children/Star Children are kids that have remembrance of a prior life. Sometimes life on another planet. I can hear him now if I'd exposed my secret to him..."What's wrong with you boy?" Or "What you want a whoopin with? A belt or a green switch? That was after I'd taken his technology, television, phone, stereo, apart to it's smallest component and couldn't put it back together. So now I will rewrite my Storyreel, then open Final Draft or Magic Screenwriter and get to the writing of the Indigo Kid. Thanks for your time. I'd love to keep you posted and updated. Let me know how James. Duane; d.a_ateam@cox.net

8

Week

Indigo Kid

Thank you! Kain, the main character, mission was to do the honor of returning his father's ashes to Earth. His father's home planet. His father's ashes could have very easily been spread upon Mars. By traveling across the country with his father's remains, Kain is able to better understand his heritage and family background. It is an incredible element of the circle of life. My father was a steelworker. Every day of his adult life, he went to the hot, dangerous mill and labored to support his family. The only thing I knew about my father's early life was that he dropped out of school to work on the family farm outside of New Orleans. A few years later he moved to Chicago and got to work at the mills and providing for his growing family. He raise 7 kids, my mom's mother, 3 of my younger uncles and 1 aunt. Years later, after the funeral, the family was gathered in the kitchen. One of my cousins who grew up with my dad, was talking nonstop. Most of the captive audience left when an opportunity presented itself. I always liked hearing the older folks' stories. Somehow his story became a tale of flash horse racing on stretches of bayou land. He went on about how people in the community would bring their picnic baskets and blankets and chairs and drinks and line each side of the impromptu race track. It was a very festive atmosphere. Then he began talking about the most popular, winningest jockey. I politely interrupted him and asked who he was talking about. He looked at me and said; "Your Dad!" I had no idea my dad was a jockey. I put my had to my chest. Flashbacks of coming to the farm on summer vacation and being mesmerized by a singular horse in a small stable took over my mind. As a yankee city boy I found it fascinating that I was out in the countryside standing behind a real live....Lights out! Like a thunder clap, the horse kicked me dead in the middle of my chest. Anyway, so every time I visit the land of my father I feel pumped up and inspired. I wished my father and I had had conversations instead of the 'children are to be seen, and not heard' dogma of that time. All of these ancestral components come into play as to who you are or may become. I was a very good trumpet player growing up. I had no idea of my New Orleans, jazz connection. As a kid I didn't even know we were going to New Orleans, I just knew we were driving down South. I knew I was going to get 'car sick' around Kentucky. It would have made a world of difference to know of my New Orleans music heritage when I was developing my chops. Sorry to write a novel, but like my cousin Moses standing in the kitchen telling my father's story. I am who I am, and home is where the heart is.

8

Week

A Pirate's Treasure

Good imagery. Everybody loves a good pirate story. I do. Narration would make this storyreel 1000% better. Even English that is not so good in this case, because they are pirates.They had their own way of speaking. "Shiver me timbers"! Arrrgh! "To theCrow's Nest ya scallywag!" The sound effects add to the story, but doesn't explain things like the relationship of the Pirate Captain to the young pirate and his mom. Or of all the pirates in all the world, no other pirate had found the Jewel of the Sea except for the newcomer. Good story, keep up the good work.

8

Week

Hart and Brane

Story of my life! I grew up in a Steeltown! I was supposed to continue the cycle of working at the mills! I could draw very well as a kid! I dreamed of levitation above an old piano I discovered in our first house. All the way through high school my father’s only reply was;”That’s interesting, come go with me, I’ll get you a real job at the mills!” Anyway, Great job of telling an age old story!

8

Week

Bad Timing

Great job! Relevant! Make sure Will Smith gets a copy! Heck! I need those digits!!! Bogged down a bit in the middle, but overall great job!

8

Week

Sam and Bailey

As an ex-Trumpet player I love the music. What is this composition and where can I get a copy?

8

Week

Sam and Bailey

I love your graphic way of telling the story. I kinda sorta feel like the narrator abandoned us near the end of the story. The viewer had to fill in the void themselves. I believe the Greeks considered the whole world is a stage, and everybody plays a part. I know the Corporate stage play, I escaped it to go full circle back to my dream of being an artist and partnering with the bird of creativity!

8

Week

love

This story reminds me of hieroglyphs and pictographs from the cave dweller days. In a good way! Matter of fact breaking news this week was of authorities finding unexpected simple cave paintings in Alabama. Your first intuition is to say life was so simple and primitive back then. But it was actually all relative and left a lot to be desired. To make this a better story, add a few beats of finding other or similar shapes that don't resolve the puzzle. Or a shape that perceives themselves as having resolved the puzzle by themselves and not needing the other halve. This is what keeps some of us romantics searching for a heart of gold.....and I'm getting old.


8

Week

Not all Shells sound like the Ocean

I love the feature of the shell being able to play music and communicate with her on a personal level. Then to find out it communicates with who ever holds it on their own level is awesome. To make the story more dynamic, maybe the shell should somehow end up in the wrong hands and Naila and her new found friends must come up with a plan to get it back. Great job of storytelling.

8

Week

BILLIE'S RITUAL

Job well done! I was a bit confused as to why at first he enjoyed hanging out with his Grandma, then abandoned her. Unless it was his first time. The graphic drove the story. Good job. Great choice of audio.

8

Week

Escape From Channel 52

I love the real world versus television cartoon world plot. It's a never ending conflict since science gave us television. Seems young creators would rather be on Tik Tok, or be Influencers than to explore and influence the real world. Very compelling story as the Metaverse moves into slot 1.

8

Week

Toro

Great story reel! Successful on all levels. I like that you made this ancient parable your own. I'm the OG in this class I imagine, but it brings to mind one of my favorite Old School songs; 'Loves Me Like A Rock' by Paul Simon. https://youtu.be/9i3JXGtC_os Love this story reel....something in my eye gotta go!

8

Week

Omen, The Black Cat

I love the story. I was into the story effortlessly, as I think that pets, and most probably cats operate in multiple dimensions. First I thought the presentation to be interesting and different. Almost like the story was being told through a stack Tarot Cards. Then misplaced cards became a problem. To fix this, just take well framed pictures of all the individual drawings. On a Windows 10 computer> Right Click on the first picture in the folder you saved them all in. You will be asked if you want to make the pic a movie/vid. Answering Yes will take you to a video editor. Drag your picture down and into the timeline. Click on the + symbol to add the next picture, then drag it into the time line. Continue this workflow until all your images are now in your video timeline. On a Mac, just take individual movie pics of each card, then assemble them and audio clips in iMovie. This will let your viewers focus and enjoy your inspiring beautiful story! I like your story. Good Luck!

7

Week

Act 3 - Aria

I like the way your main character would not give up until she resolved the puzzlement. Just like in a music composition the melody must be resolved. Good use of graphics. Your story would be enhanced very much by a few samples of some music. Yeah! Keep up the good work.

7

Week

ELIXIR - STORY SPINE

Great story! Could it be a story that's been handed down through generations? Those are the best ones. The illustrations are right on target. I love the expressions and non-verbal communication. I can very easily see this produced into a movie!

7

Week

Grandpa & the Machine Act:1,2,3

A good measure of a good story is if it makes you feel something. Grandpa and the Machine definitely made me feel. As a grandpa, I feel like my grandson and his mom think I'm a bit quirky. Always working on a new digital project, but never installing that missing core starter. I enjoyed the graphics and the bits of humor. To focus and hit the bullseye I think the granddaughter should spy and be intrigued by her father's tinkering as well. Great job!

7

Week

Dream Seller

Great story! and well illustrated. The plot twist is powerful. Your story makes you think about our own fears and internal monsters. As a kid growing up in a chaotic, traumatic neighborhood in Chicago, first I enjoyed my nightly dreams. Then my dreams changed to Astral Projection. I could feel my soul leaving my body each night and traveling amongst the stars. It became a terror because I summarized that if I went to galaxy and universes no man had ever been before, I could lose my bearing and not be able to find my sleeping body again. I learned to wake myself up when I when I started to drift away. My way of facing and resolving the problem. Thanks!

7

Week

Act 1,2 & 3

Very intriguing story. And well told I might add. I seem to have a recurring fascination with dinosaurs as well. Raptors are my species. In my story reel I've included a best friend robot raptor, Ziggy. Your illustration style is clear and concise. Keep up the good work.

7

Week

Borealis - Acts I, II and III

I like your storyline! Especially when he connects the canister and logo to the coffee shop. It will be an amazing storyreel when you break it down to movie clips!

7

Week

GRANDFATHER - ROUGH STORY REEL

Excellent story! You had me as a captive audience from beginning to end! Nice simple but polished graphics also! I love the red handkerchief and the symbolism connected to it! I even had a cathartic moment reading ‘Grandfather’. Keep up the good work!

7

Week

Party Parrots Week 7 3 Acts

Interesting concept! I can’t wait to see the hand painted imagery. Some guy once said ‘The Medium is the message’! What’s interesting in this course is everyone is choosing their own medium to express themselves. I express myself via 3D Art. But this is all about the story so paint a well stroked story! ✨✨

6

Week

Eternal Jade Acts

Good job! Your story captivated me from the beginning. I got lost a bit with the struggle to capitalize off the plant for a bit, but understood what was going on! Maybe a little more about why the plant(s) chose Jade would be more provocative!

4

Week

The Indigo Kid

Interesting comments! Ziggy is Kain’s Digital Assistant, not the father’s! I had to return Kain to Mars for the full impact of the ‘No Place Like Home’/‘Home is where the Heart is’ moral! Technically using 3D models used a lot of the size constraints. Better Quality rendering came in at 1.3 GB by week 7, I removed and edited it down to 1.1 Gigabytes in Wk 8. The Upload was rejected! Using medium rendering reduced the size to 82Mb, but I wanted Better quality. All this to say that I could not expound upon the story at all, and did not want to edit down the story. It was Cinco de Mayo evening. I conceded and set out to upload the 800Mb version. The upload failed from my MacBook, my normal workflow, with an ‘unknown error’. I tried it 3 more times with no success! I’m sweating 😥 out of control. Then my frayed power adapter died.i had 40% battery. I switched over to my Mac desktop. It’s now May 6th! I saved it as a FB preparation file instead of saving it to disk. I thought maybe it’d reduce a bit for online constraints. It worked! It compiled at a higher resolution,1080, also! Whew! So I’ve already started visualizing Kain’s and Ziggy’s return. Tech 9’s operation to have the hardware removed from his body failed and he goes on a crime spree on Earth and in different times. Kain, Ziggy and Meduxxa to the rescue! Hopefully!

4

Week

Fuga's Journey- Area 51 and Beyond: Story Spine

I love a good story about space aliens especially if they have a different angle. In real life I wonder why Martians didn’t come to rescue their fallen comrades. I was all in on your story with the possibility of rescuing the long lost prisoner Roswell. I admit I was disappointed that he was left behind. In which case your StorySpine is successful because it made me feel something! Good job! It doesn’t always have to be a happy ending!

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