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8

Week

E L I X I R

Your work looks so incredibly professional, I could easily see boards like this on a behind the scenes features for a film! Love your drawings, lighting, your cinematography, and of course your story. I'm so happy to see the final product at the end. Did you compose the score? The music beats really align with the story/drawing beats incredibly well, and it feels like a consistent score as well rather than a scratch track! Bravo on a project well done :)

8

Week

Porcelain bird

I love your drawings, they have so much charm to them! Some parts even looked like gorgeous hand drawn animation (like at the opening scene!). I could follow your story along easily, and I think using the ambient SFX was incredibly well done as well. I think I'm most impressed by your cinematography, you really have a natural senes of how to control of the camera/compositions of shots to best tell your story. You really did a great job showcasing the connection between Birdie and the albatross too, their bond comes off as very organic, and overall you have such a sweet story here. Great job!

8

Week

The heart of the mountain

I've been following your story for a while and I LOVE your final cut! Your draftsmanship, the music, the pacing, the SFX. Seeing how far its come and how it all comes together is such a treat, I hope your entire team is proud!

8

Week

sdfsd

I love your drawings. I'm wondering if this was an accidental upload however, since it seems oddly cut and is only 14 seconds long? I love the idea of some dog creature and cat, and anything about loving pets is good by me

8

Week

Final submission

Hey no worries about it still being a WIP. I could get a gist of your story from your drawings. I was a little confused on the more specific details of the story however. I think even writing out your spine on the side, or narrating it would help bring a bit more clarity

8

Week

Indigo Kid

I've been following this project for a while and it feels like you're improving on it each time, I still stand by my previous comments from previous weeks so I won't rehash them here, but I see the efforts being made to improve the foundation of your story spine

8

Week

Gravity

Love your drawings, and I love the premise. It's so sweet. Great job!

7

Week

Farron in the Valley Storyreel

Oh, I'm so sorry for my ignorance. Please disregard the first part of my comment. Subtitles/captions sound like a great idea to add a bit more clarity to the story.

7

Week

Storm Hero - Acts 1,2 and 3

I love your sketches, you have incredible draftsmanship! I also like the effective use of color in your boards, it really helps to add clarity to your pitch and adds almost visual notes of what we, the viewer, should be feeling as well. I agree with Samuel that I think it needs to be more clear on whether the villain still having shocks from time to time is supposed to be a set up for a sequel of him coming back, or just a general side effect/consequence he has to deal with. Overall though, I really enjoy the massive classic comic book vibes from both your story and drawing aesthetic!

7

Week

Farron in the Valley Storyreel

I think from your visuals alone, I can get somewhat of a sense of the main story but I personally still think it would benefit having some sort of narration or audio to add clarity in the more detailed parts of your story. I think your Act 2 is the strongest in its clarity as it was the easiest for me to follow, and had nice variation in composition. I feel the story moves a bit fast overall, you have a lot of space which is pretty nice for editing since you can pad it up a bit more somehow. One idea to make stronger you could slow down a bit in some scenes to show more character dynamics between Farron and the rest of the cast and seeing them connect, or an opportunity to showcase a raw moment or huge story moment for Farron so the audience can connect with him. Ultimately of course, it's up to you though, enjoy editing and looking forward to the final.

7

Week

Dream Come True

Your story is so sweet, I can't help but want to cheer her on and for her and I'm so happy she got her dreams. Rejection is hard and it's easy to fall into a negative loop of frustration, and I'm so happy her mom was able to make sure she didn't fall into a bitter loop. When rejection or hardships happen, my mom would often tell me sometimes, things happen for a reason; and through those series of events it would eventually lead to something positive in my experience. I feel that your story captures that sentiment in a really wholesome way.

7

Week

The Indigo Kid

I think there are cool ideas in individual scenes and the general concept for your idea is neat, and you do have a lot of skill with 3D modeling and rendering. However I feel more emphasis should be put into the story and pre-production (timing and beats) aspect, so that way you know what story you're trying to tell and how to tell it clearly, before spending so much time and energy with time consuming parts of production. It's clear from all the editing and production value that you put a lot of effort in this, but it's sometimes better to work in a way that's more time efficient rather than going hard on details too early.

7

Week

Act 3 - Aria

I love your story and I think most people will find it relatable even beyond music. It's hard to showcase new ideas when people have grown comfortable to a norm, and especially in a creative industry, it's hard to balance drawing what you want to do (which is the more individual, creative look) versus creating what you think others want (which is the more executive, business-y look). I also really enjoyed your depiction of a "music-less" world, and the gradual, organic buildup as the patrons of the bar got into her music. I feel a lot of creative arts or industries are something people take for granted, but when you imagine a world without things like art or music, it really is dull. It was so satisfying to see her rekindled passions toward the end. Great job with your story, I can't wait for the final pass.

6

Week

Act 1 & 2

I think the idea of him getting sucked into a cartoon TV show is great, I won't deny that definitely popped into my mind as a kid, and I'm sure many others have too because they're such a great escape; so the concept I think is wonderful and definitely taps into a bit of nostalgia. I like the conflict being presented in a sort of "be careful what you wish for" format, goes to show, as you said, that the grass isn't always greener. I look forward to your Act III.

6

Week

Leo´s Act 1 & 2

This is so solid! I love the tweaks you've made to Act I, and how you brought the Colossus back in Act II works so well. I love how it ties into the twist of how his parents used to be adventurers and asked the Colossus for help, it adds a layer of depth to them and explains why they were so protective of him and provides clarity to the emotional conflict. I think the only suggestion I have is make it more clear that his motive for returning to his hometown is the shock of realizing his parents used to be adventurers and wanting to confront them/get answers about it, there are a few moments that it gets a little muddled that the motive is to climb the mountain, and while he can eventually get to that motivation, I think the series of events to get to that point just needs to be a tad more explicit is all. Overall I'm just hooked and wanting to know more after the cliffhanger of learning part of his heart is from a Colossus. I'm excited to see what happens in Act III!

6

Week

Farron in the Valley: Act 1 & 2 Storyreel

Hey, awesome job drawing out all the panels for your story -- I am wondering if the lack of audio is intentional? The drawings move a little quickly so it's hard to get the information of what's happening on the first watch or without heavily relying on your written description on the side. My suggestion would be to give your drawings a bit more time on screen to be processed, and to use the zoom-in camera move a bit more deliberately rather than just using it on every drawing.

I think once audio is added with the narration providing more specifics, any confusing parts will be cleared up a bit! Good job on making all the drawings for your story so far.

6

Week

Cornelius - Act 1 & 2

Your initial premise for this story was always solid from Week 1, and I love how much this story has evolved! I think it's great to see how he developed the habit of trying to help others from his parents, and just the introduction of the parents in general has added so much to your story -- interpersonal conflict, backstory, character dynamics, etc. I also love the little Gecko's blessing being the reason Cornelius has the power of wearing others' colors, and how you used the climax/low point of the Birthday to show us the double-edged nature of this ability. Everything seemed clear to me, and the beats feel really solid. I really love the directions and decisions you made for Cornelius' story, I look forward to seeing your Act III!

6

Week

Grandfather - Act 1 and 2

Your sketches are absolutely beautiful! The visuals do so well to support your story, you have amazing draftsmanship! I am a little unclear on how the father died, is this going to be explained further on? Because that leads onto a suggestion that popped in mind -- I think it could be an interesting way for the Grandfather's heart attack to be a callback to his father if he had a heart attack -- maybe that way when his grandfather has a heart attack (or a similar symptom that his dad went through) that could trigger a huge influx of memories, thoughts, emotions, trauma etc. for Isaiah? I'm not really sure what exactly but I think some how keeping the heart attack(s) as a motif somehow would be a poetic(?) way to bring it full circle. Regardless though, your story comes through clearly; It's a really sweet story and I love it so much already, it's making me want to go give my own (aging) parents a hug. Keep up the awesome work.

6

Week

Indigo Kid

I think your Act I is the strongest; it's cool that you've set up a routine for Kain to have a lifestyle on Mars with his dad and the indigenous life found on there. And the mission for him to bring his dad's ashes to Earth is pretty clear. However, the next sequence of events after is a little confusing to me. What exactly happens that leads to Kain needing to learn to keep his friends close, and enemies closer? I'm also not exactly sure what an indigo kid is.

I think you put a lot of effort into producing this video, but my suggestion would be to keep focus on the story spine and keep polishing it in a more rough format like a storyboard or small simple sketches with some animatic movement or even just written bullet notes, and make sure the story works clearly before fully rigging and animating things -- when you jump straight into production (ie animation) you risk redoing a lot of work that may potentially be edited out, while focusing on preproduction (story spines, boards, etc) will make it so you can do production efficiently. That way, you can just focus your energy on trying to make sure the message/story you want to be told is coming across clearly before animating it all.

On the whole, it's clear you put a lot of effort into this, and your Act I was easy to follow.

6

Week

Leo & the Alien

I think your story is very clear and the most of series of events make logical sense. The premise is also so cute, I love the idea of an alien changing the lightbulbs being the reason we have stars. The only thing that strikes me a bit confusing is the Alien come off as a bit no-nonsense and serious about his job when Leo first sees him, but then seems to become a character who is easily distracted in a very short span of time. I do understand that there's supposed to be a motive of the fact that he's intrigued by all these Earth things, but I think a more gradual increase in curiosity would make it stronger. Maybe Leo even inadvertently gets him interested in Earth things somehow and it just has a butterfly effect? I'm not really sure, but I think having some sort of character dynamic leading to the change would be a bit stronger, or Leo being a contributing force to the Alien getting distracted somehow. On the whole it's an excellent premise and the opening/Act I in particular is very well written, I love the daydreaming hook you give us for Leo. Can't wait to see your Act III and how they resolve not being able to find all the bulbs in time!

5

Week

Potion Bus - Act 1

I love your sketches so much! They're so charming and visually support the story you're telling here. Overall everything seems pretty straightforward, though I'm curious about the Jamie character mentioned briefly in the video, and their significance to Kat here; I'd love to know more about how they interact, or a bit more information as who they are and why their introduction is important. I love what you have going here, it's a lot of fun and I can't wait to see how Gerald and Kat work together in Act 2!

5

Week

ACT 1

I really like that the start of the story is her immediately getting rejected by jobs despite having worked so hard and just gotten a degree. It's pretty relatable especially in more recent years. I would love to know more about what events happened on the farm that led her to reconsider getting back on the horse and go for her Masters, at the moment it feels a bit spontaneous and sudden of a decision from her. I really do enjoy the fact her family is so incredibly wholesome and are supporting her aspirations at the end of Act 1. Looking forward to more!

5

Week

Fuga's Story Act1: The Origins of a Shipwrecked Alien, Fuga, and his Unwilling Journey Through Area 51

A very jam-packed Act 1! And I love the hook you ended on, I'm so excited to see how Roswell leads to their escape! I think the only thing that may require more clarification regarding Fuga's sister; I was under the impression that Fuga was the lone survivor of his kind, does he learn on the flight that she survived? I think it's worth explaining how he finds out, and going into detail how they got separated, if that's the case, mostly because this seems like a pretty critical piece of information put on the character through his suffering. I think you have tons of fun ideas here though and I can't wait to see how Act 2 evolves!

5

Week

Broken Dreams - Act 1

I think the motion graphics and visuals drawn for this are beautifully done, kudos to you. I do think once you add the audio supplement/dialogue, it will help bring clarity to what is happening, as I personally only got fragments of the story trying to be told at this time, and it's not immediately obvious as to what the set up for Act 1 is (I recognize this is still a WIP though and that you're still in the process of fleshing things out). It's a very solid start though, and it's clear a lot of effort went into this video.

5

Week

Party Parrots: Act 1

I think the premise sets up a solid and clear-cut conflict and antagonist from the start, which makes Carmen's character motivations easy to follow and makes us want to cheer her on in getting out of that situation. I also like that you have a range of personalities in the Parrot cast, I think the dynamics between them will allow us to see a lot of growth, and your Act 1 is a great set-up for the survival-adventure part of the story. I think my only points of confusion are understanding what kinds of shows she is forced to perform, and what the effect of the medicine is on the parrots and if that influence leads to some consequences or massive alterations in their decision-making. But overall your Act 1 is solid and that their escape and survival can have a bunch of open-ended events at this point excites me!

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