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7

Week

Farron in the Valley Storyreel

Hi Jasmine,

Thank you for your feedback-- we will definitely consider adding captions to our next submission-- we are a deaf team and don't use spoken english at all but American Sign Language, so we've been using the video description to put in our story text all this time.

We definitely will discuss pacing for our next submission too- thank you for noting that!

7

Week

Farron in the Valley Storyreel

Hello Erika! We are a deaf team and we don't use spoken english to communicate but rather American Sign Language and written english... we have opted to use the video description to paste our story text. But in our upcoming reel we're thinking of adding captions so it's much more accessible as the text is quite long.

Thank you for your input as well! We will discuss the emotional beats in the story for our next submission.

7

Week

Billie

I think you have a very fascinating story here, and something that's generally considered taboo. But I urge you to explore and push on creating this further! I think the ghost dog is the perfect way to make people realize that ghosts aren't scary-- dogs are usually associated with in warm and fuzzy feelings. I also am curious as to how Billie's interaction with his parents affects Billie, knowing that he had a chance to hang with them for a day, and unable to see them again for very long? Or is Billie able to do this ritual again in the future? (seems like more of a sequel question, heh)

7

Week

ELIXIR - STORY SPINE

I wanted to thank you for sharing your detailed video description-- and that I think your drawings/storyboards are excellent! I think this makes for a very intriguing story!

7

Week

Underwoof goes under the sea - All Acts

I love the story idea- But it feels like Naya the crab was quickly dismissed? I assume this means Naya wasn't a friend but just an acquaintance?

4

Week

Old Dog New Tricks Story Spine

Thank you! Much appreciated!

4

Week

Leo`s Story Spine

Thank you for doing that! Maybe next time you can put the captions/transcript in the video description so I can see your progress too!

I like your drawings, the way you play with the lighting (glow from the heart) etc. Just wanted to tell you that was what intrigued me.

As for the story, it feels sort of like exchanging the soul to the devil type of deal when someone has to give away something to the heart, doesn't that seem a bit weird? Or a piece of one's soul in any way. Would it make more sense that each person had to leave behind an object? And maybe Leo, after collecting all of the treasures of the world, has to give it all away to repair the heart? hm just a thought. :)

4

Week

Story Structure - Team Potion Bus

Thank you for doing that! I like your submission idea-- do you think that maybe Kat should have another college buddy that is also friends with Gerald and whatnot? So it doesn't seem like Kat is making all of this up in her head (external validation)? ha

4

Week

Story Structure - Team Potion Bus

Hi team,

I was really curious based on your thumbnail but unfortunately I cannot comment as your video is not captioned and I am deaf. Could you upload a script/transcript of your spoken parts in the video description? Thanks!

4

Week

Rugula's Passion

Hi Taylor and team!

First of all thank you for including your script in the video description! I am deaf myself so I wouldn't have been able to understand your spoken parts in the video.

Second of all, I find it a bit funny but this is something that happens in the deaf community regarding actors trying to use sign language. However we in the deaf community usually get upset when a hearing person takes a deaf role. I am wondering now for your story-- wouldn't it be more appropriate that Phoebe got the role since it's actually more authentic? But again I don't know to what extent that humans are allowed in the monster world, are they just generally shunned? Or is it nonexistent? Like Wizards in HP? Or more like Monsters, Inc?

Thought that might be approached differently, especially as this can be about representation and authenticity as well.

4

Week

Once Upon A Time

Hi- I was intrigued by your thumbnail but my team is completely deaf and we are unable to understand your video's spoken parts. Could you please caption or upload a transcript in the video description? Thanks!

4

Week

Old Dog New Tricks Story Spine

Hi Sanchez, could your team please upload the spoken parts as text in the video description? Our team is deaf and we cannot really give feedback on your work because the videos are not captioned. Thank you!

4

Week

Gravity

Hi-- I was really drawn to your drawing/idea, but unfortunately I cannot really comment as I am deaf. Could you submit your story script in the video description or include it as captions in your video slides?

4

Week

Love and Death Story Spine

Hi- I love your story. I love that it uses Death as a character-- I always find that fascinating to begin with. I am afraid I don't understand your last part- Death turns into a mortal-- but does this mean Death waits until he ages to die, or does he kill himself to be with Dr. Diaz?

4

Week

Leo`s Story Spine

Hi-- I wish I could comment on your story but I am deaf and I cannot understand your story's script in spoken form... I thought you'd caption your story after you started with "Once upon a time" text in your first slide. heh. Sorry!

3

Week

Farron in the Valleys

Hello Diego/Team Raining Frogs-

Thank you for your constructive feedback! Yes, we were a bit behind as we wait for the company to upload the ASL (american sign language) version of their videos (usually the day after) and their first week had a bit of a delay. However we have already caught up with all submissions and we have a more fleshed out plot that we'll submit for week 4! Do keep us posted if you're curious! :)

2

Week

Farron in the Valley

Yes, we think that Farron (who is gender-neutral by the way) will go back to their village and bring what they learned on their journey!

2

Week

Farron in the Valley

Hi- independence is valued but it takes more than one person to create a village... just that a village shouldn't dismiss or stifle their community members' diverse ideas/personas. I hope that was more clear-- thanks for asking!

2

Week

This is Fred

My question is more about the antagonist-- will the cartoon character appear as Fred? How does the cartoon character pull off staying in Fred's world if his family and friends know it's not fred? Or perhaps there is some magic that makes the cartoon character look like Fred and that makes the conflict go in depth as to see how Fred breaks the magic element. Alternatively--- If Fred truly loves playing games, what about his new world would suck that would make Fred want to go back to real life? What if Fred loves his new world and doesn't want to leave?

2

Week

Mel the Bee

I love how you used a bear in this conflict. How does his enormous size not trigger anything for the tiny bees??? Superbee? Supremely bee-ing? Heh. Love the millenial/boomer metaphor in this character development exercise-- but what exactly is Mel's true character flaw? Being clumsy/introverted? how are these bad things? Or how will these build to the story's conflict? What is the solution to being clumsy/introverted? It feels unnatural to force someone to become athletic or extroverted just so they can become a "hero"... why can't a hero be introverted and clumsy still? It seems like your story shows that Mel's character flaw is actually not being confident (scared) to warn everyone else about the impostor. So he conquers his fear of "stage fright"?

2

Week

Soulmate

How does rasmus react to conflict generally? Considering that he is a sensitive and unassuming soul to begin with? Does he typically balk away or wilt from his own obstacle? How does the plot make him realize he needs to be more of a do-er, and not a dreamer?

2

Week

Orion the Brave

I think having a constellation as a character is super original and wild. I am curious as to how his (and any other character constellations') stars will take physical form and defeat (or fight, generally) a meteorite? This somehow reminds me of 3D motion capture and how the process is really just recording dots, eventually connecting them (wireframe) to make sense of a movement.

2

Week

Character Profile: PEDRO by Francisco González

Will Pedro's father actually be revived? This feels like an impossible task to do, and an anti-cathartic solution if Pedro truly does have the ability to bring back his father... unless somehow in his journey he realizes he does not want to be dependent on his father forever?

2

Week

Character Profile: Wolf and Dragon-Kayla Stith

So many flashbacks to Balto, the Lion King (it's the hind legs and the paws being drawn specifically in that style), and Pitaya looks more like a bird and not a dragon... Just have one question- will Pitaya grow to be a HUGE dragon or stay small? Will the dynamics of Pitaya and Lobo's relationship change if Pitaya changes size? Does Pitaya's potentially bigger size become part of a conflict in their story (too loud, too noticeable, especially as pitaya seems to be rambunctious) ?

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