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8

Week

Hart and Brane

I think it's a very concise story and I think that helps a lot to make it powerful and emotional, I feel like the narrator can be more of a character within the story so that everything feels connected and we can empathize more with the story you're telling.

Thank you very much for your work.

8

Week

Bean. (Full Storyboard)

Hi, I think you did a very good job in character development, it feels like someone existing in his world and who has external and internal conflicts to solve.
I feel that there are moments that can be greatly enhanced with the use of music that exalts the emotions of the character or the conflict of the story.
Thank you very much for your work, congratulations, it is one of my favorites.

8

Week

Skyfellers: Tales from Chusetts' Ranch

Hello, I think the story is very nice and I love the drawings, I like the narrative is slow and takes the time to develop the environment and familiarize us with the daily life of the protagonists. I also like the freshness in the dialogue and how they handled the coexistence between the characters.
I am not very clear why the creature returns after all the mistreatment, I think you could emphasize the previous relationship of the protagonists with that creature, so the food becomes an excuse.
I like it a lot, I hope I can see it someday.

8

Week

Cian and the Metaverse * Final Submission *

Hi, I think you have a good story on your hands, I would like to know more about this world and its implications for humans.
It was not clear to me the relationship between the two worlds, I think it would be interesting to delve into that and give more time in the end, showing an internal conflict of the protagonist between his desire to live in the virtual world and his desire to stay with his sister

8

Week

Book of S full story

I really like the way the story goes, I love that when you think the story is going in one direction it goes in the opposite direction. I loved that there was no bad guy but that all the conflict developed because of the hidden feelings of the main character.
I think we could see the progression of the character and her growth as she is trying to capture all of her drawings, I feel like this part wasn't very clear to me and it would be great to see.
I want to see the story done someday

4

Week

Leo`s Story Spine

Hi, here we send you the script we made for this video
- Once upon a time: There was a small town that asked for everything to a giant heart that lived inside a mountain. Leo, a curious boy who wanted to know more about the world didn’t trust the heart and escaped town. Leo decided to travel the world, live as many adventures as he could and get as many treasures as he finds.
- Every day. Leo traveled to the most exotic places on earth, and collected the most wonderful treasures anyone could imagine.
- Until one day. Another traveler challenged Leo to get a rare piece that was lacking from his collection, a piece of stone so rare that there was only one place on earth where he could find it, inside the mountain of his hometown.
- Because of that. Leo went in disguise to his hometown and he went directly to the mountain, he looked for an entrance, but after some time he realized that the mountain was changing, and the entrance changed too.
- Because of that. He climbed to the top of the mountain so he could see the entrance clearly, but once at the top he felt inside the mountain, on top of the heart and broke it in a million pieces.
- Because of that. He could see in the broken pieces what each person of the town has left in return for the favors of the heart, he saw how his parents had left their curiosity for the world on exchange for the safety or their kid.
- Until finally. Leo put back together all the pieces of the heart and gave all his treasures in exchange so the heart can make him a favor, return to their parents their true ambitions and curiosities
- And ever since then. Leo shares with his parents their adventures and curiosities, traveling with them and listening to their stories.
- The moral of the story is. Don’t judge other people's choices when you can share yours with them.

1

Week

What If?

Hello, I love the last one, I think it can be very interesting to discover a new world, it reminds me of the myth of Plato's cave.
I am not very clear what could motivate him to leave his cave and go out at night.
I think it can generate a good contrast between how beautiful the night can be or how wonderful the day can be.

1

Week

What if...

Hi, for me, one of the best ideas is the second one, I think it has potential to see how humans managed to live in a sustainable world and I also think it can be interesting to see what sacrifices humanity made to achieve this goal.
I think that from this world building interesting stories can be created, what is not clear to me is what narrative arc it can have, does a time traveler go to this world? was this world achieved by repression or by fostering education?
For me the next step would be to see what conflicts can occur in this world.

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Tomas's Comments

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