Not you? Click here

arrow&v

Explanation (Optional)

4

Week

"Just Don't Ask Jodi About UFOs" story spine

Such a fun story! The actual story telling and excitement made it so much more entertaining! Would love to know more of how and why with her dad’s abduction and his his casual return. The dog was a great way propel the character to the next act but would also like to know the how and why the dog’s appearance at the right moment. Hope to get more info and more of that same energy with story telling moving forward to the next part of the project. Great job!

4

Week

Fuga's Journey- Area 51 and Beyond: Story Spine

Great story and concept. I feel like having a major death and sacrifice creates a more impactful and memorable story. I would love to have more interaction with other alien and develop a relationship with Roswell to make betrayals and sacrifices more impactful and get the audience more invested with the characters. Great job!

4

Week

Naila’s Story Arc

Great story and illustrations. Very powerful message and very relatable since I moved from one country to another. I was curious on how she was able to hear the Magical shell if she had her headphones on. Perhaps sensed it in some way or noticed visually. I’d would like to see the shell be more interwoven into the character’s life to show how it’s magical more than just producing music. Great concept and looking forward to see how it develops.

4

Week

The magical sword - Storyspine

Very unique concept. I’m curious with how the sword got its former master hurt and was abandoned. Story has a good sense of flow and momentum from scene to scene. Could use more back story on how the sword’s abilities work and how it can have enough will to be able to refuse to fight. Maybe these can be addressed in the next assignment so I’m looking forward to how this story progresses and develops

4

Week

Orion the Brave - Spine Story

Great story! Love the concept and moral of the story. I feel that there needs to be a bit more back story of the characters like the villain(s) and the main characters to have the viewer be more invested and have a greater impact from the choices and actions of both parties as well as Orion’s companions. Also show a way to impact the moral points of the story like improving everyday. Great flow to the story’s momentum and how main points impacted the next. Small back stories can get addressed along with how and why moments were triggered. These can greatly addressed with the next assignment so I look forward how it develops.

4

Week

Electra's Story Spine

Very interesting way of story telling. I actually enjoyed how the realization Moment the character being a 2d version of a real model is just an ad and she found peace with it. I feel like there can be higher stakes involved that can push the character’s personality and push the idea of acceptance but maybe the next assignment can do just that. Can’t wait to see more development

2

Week

Renee Character Sketch

Great start for your character! Very relatable traits can get conflicting when you say “painfully shy that she’s almost miserable” then can be brave when she needs to. Her bravery could be an objective triggered by circumstance which she ends up saving the day. Her personality would be a great build up to a self reliant character. Eager to see where this character goes and how she develops.

2

Week

Troy from The Lost Delivery

This is kind of relatable since I’m in somewhat of that occupation but I do quality control before packages get to the delivery men and women. It would be great to see the ins and out of this version of occupation.

2

Week

Meet Ms. Nguyen

Creative concept! Fun and engaging with how teenagers are seen. Everyone has been a teen at some point so this concept will have relatable views and moments.

2

Week

What if the dinasour are back

Love just about anything that has a dinosaur. This is definitely an interesting concept that’s different from current mainstream ideas of dinosaurs. Would love to see how their adventure progresses and where the characters would end up in a modern society.

2

Week

Meet Aria

Love how the music changed with the tone of the story. Very interesting. Love to see how her story progresses.

2

Week

character profile

Sounds like a fun concept and looking forward to seeing how this character progresses

1

Week

What if an astronomer who didn't believe in UFOs...

Love the energy of all of them. First what if seems more interesting and stood out of the rest for me. It seems like an idea that can be built on with gags and memorable sequences with friendship and possible xenophobia that can be resolved by the new friend.

1

Week

What if?

Love the first what if. Seems very playful and whimsical that can have relatable messages of making friendships and meeting new people. It seems needed now that people are getting back into society and I’m sure some forgot how to interact with others.

1

Week

What if... The real madrigal team

I’ll assume Charon is the grim reaper. That’s what we call our version of death dealer or entity that guides the dead. Very cool sounding concept and although it’s one that’s been done a few times, I’d like to see it know more this version since it’s from a different country. How this version of death in a different area deal with death would be a refresh concept.

1

Week

What If - Álvaro Galiana's

The first what if seems to be an interesting concept. It’s very current with its themes and how stepping out of your own life to start a new one seems to be very relatable.

1

Week

What If-Kayla Stith

The first one seems to have an interesting potential. Gives an ideas of how your nature can be changed by nurture. Almost like jungle book without the human element. Definitely an interesting notion with a dragon in that element.

1

Week

WHAT IF... (Goofy King/Villain Love/Hero Not by Choice)

Love the last what if. Full of potential and gags. It can definitely be full of fun and exploration of having great power but refuse the responsibility.

arrow&v
Filter comments by week

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Dean's Comments

Please wait while we load your amazing content

Our goal for Story Xperiential is to foster an educational platform that actively remains a safe space for all users to bring their authentic voices and engage in learning free of judgment and ridicule, and where all cultural and gender backgrounds, learning differences and ability levels are welcomed and celebrated for their uniqueness and potential to inspire all of us. We do not condone story content that promotes violence or hate.

Privacy Policy

Questions? Contact us at 
help@storyxperiential.com