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8

Week

Tails of a Hollywood Chinchilla

Hi Skye! Thank you so much. I found your info, and I will email you when this is done. You are awesome! I noticed I canʻt add a photo of Piper here, but I did add a pic of all three furr babies to my story reel submission. Big Aloha to you!

8

Week

Tails of a Hollywood Chinchilla

This is AMAZING feedback! Thank you so much for your attention to detail and great advice. I agree, the story has so many holes that need to be explained better. I am definitely going to flesh this out. Thank you for your comments on my drawing. This was the first time Iʻve ever done anything like this. I am not an artist, just a storyteller and filmmaker. My friend taught me about perspective in about 2 hours and I worked on it from there. Itʻs very cathartic, and it you are right, it was definitely a way for me to understand and connect to my characters and their world.

Thatʻs super cute that you looked up chinchillas and water. Yeah, they donʻt die from it, unless they get a fungal infection and it goes untreated. They can also get a respiratory infection and that can kill them if it goes untreated. What I really needed to add to the narrative is that she "thinks that sheʻs dying, because she has been told over and over by her owners that she isnʻt supposed to get wet or sheʻll die (or something like that)". I think another thing about her owners is that they could have a trust issue. Maybe they donʻt trust Piper and Princess and the cat together so they keep them locked up all the time. Perhaps the moment where they are all on the couch at the end could be a turning point where the whole family is in harmony and trust each other not to terrorize each other, destroy the house and/or run away or get wet even, lol. That would be very cool if they did duplicate when they get wet (like gremlins). Piper, Princess and Sabrina are actually my real pets, and that would be so fun if they would multiply when they get wet, LOL.

Lastly, I wrote this story in honor of my beautiful Mom. She passed away last August, and she always wanted to write a story about Piper. She really identifyed with her personality (the real Piper). Iʻm going to add Piperʻs pic to this story submission. I really want to add some of those elements of motherhood, bonding, and adventure into the story. Thanks again. I am going to study your feedback and implement it. Please let me know if you have any more pointers after reading my reply. And... if you are open to giving further feedback after I make the changes, I would be delighted. with that said, how would I contact you when I finish the changes?

8

Week

Tails of a Hollywood Chinchilla

HI there. Thank you so much for your great feedback. Yes, I definitely need to develop the Sabrina arc a little more. I ran out of time, LOL. I know that she feels bad, because she seeʻs the poachers taking Princess away. So, there needs to be a moment where she goes back and forth (maybe pacing in the living room) before she finally decides to save the day. And in the end, Piper starts letting Sabrina in on their movie reinactments rather than terrorizing her.

I definitely plan to develop this more. I might even start by making it a book, and then animation. Thanks again for your feedback!

1

Week

Animal Fun

Thank you so much. I think I am going to go with that one.

1

Week

Animal Fun

Thank you! They are the softest animal there is. So their fur is a big deal. Sadly, people have hunted them for their fur, so that could go well with the storyline. Like maybe her fur falling out keeps her from being hunted and saves her life.

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Corinne's Comments

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