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8

Week

Trail of tears

I didn't hate this story, far from it, I was just a bit confused by it. I had a hard time figuring out what was going on, and I didn't feel a clear sense of direction. But it's still good despite all the issues present.

8

Week

The Newlydeads

This is easily the best I've seen so far. The story is compelling and creative, the ghost twist was really out-of-nowhere but welcoming, and I like the message the story conveyed. My only real complaint is the abrupt ending. The characters don't really have a conclusion, they just say come to a revelation and the video ends without any repercussions. But other than that, this is great! Well done!

8

Week

Gold Rush

The story was really compelling and investing, and I'm a sucker for stories that try to be unique with the storytelling. I have some minor complaints with some random audio cuts, some blurry pictures, and the random keyboard noise towards the end, but those are minor complaints compared to what we got. Good work!

8

Week

Hueys Story

Not bad at all, but the story doesn't have a clear direction. There's no character arc or anything, and the story just ends abruptly before he can save his home. I still enjoyed it, but I wish it had more overall cohesion. It's still good for what it is, though.

8

Week

Jonathon Sniffer

I really liked the basic structure of this story, but I found it to be a bit all over the place. Like at first, it's about Jonathon being scared of losing his family, but then he does lose his family and tries to become stronger because of it, but then he becomes mean and a borderline criminal because of his rage, before becoming nice out of nowhere with very little motivation. It's not bad, far from it, it just kind of felt like everyone on your team wanted to take the story in different directions, and you just merged all ideas into one. I still liked it, though.

Also, that lizard thing on the thumbnail is horrifying and I don't know if I like it or not.

8

Week

Derek and The Money Tree

Even though I marked this under "has potential", this honestly is pretty good, just not very good. The premise is nice and simple, and the basic structure is well-written, but I wish the story was a bit cleaner. For example, immediately after he starts giving away some of his money, the next line states that he's starting to hoard it. Also, the whole "three jobs" thing is a bit of an over-the-top concept for an otherwise pretty grounded story. But it's not bad, far from it. I just think it can be a bit better.

7

Week

4

I wish the story was more elaborated on and had some explanations for some details, like why this other person is out there and why he was willing to help. I do think it's a pretty good start, though.

7

Week

Act 1, Act 2 and part of Act 3.

I don't remember if I commented on this before, but I really like the art in this story. It gives off an etherial tone. I also really like the story, but I don't have any major comments or complaints with it. Overall, good work this week!

7

Week

Act 1, 2, 3

I like the story, even if I wish some aspects of the story had more depth, though it's nothing that others haven't already pointed out. Good work.

7

Week

Gold rush

This is a simple story, but good nonetheless. My only real problem is the background noise getting a bit out of hand, but I can understand if conditions might not be the best. Overall, good job this week.

7

Week

My work

The drawings are well made, but there's a lot of ambiguity w/ the story and the lack of voiceover or even music really makes it feel kind of empty, not to be rude or anything. With a bit more work, this could be really solid.

7

Week

Act 3

The story is really solid and I have no complaints with it. The only nitpick I have is that there are a few awkward pauses between scenes, but that's not too big of a problem overall.

7

Week

Weighted

I really like the experiment you're trying to do by removing the audio. It definitely worked, but something feels missing. I feel like putting some background music into the video would make the story not feel as empty, if that makes any sense. Don't take this the wrong way though, I still really like the story and the visuals the way they are at the moment!

6

Week

Act 2!

Honestly, other than the lack of initial buildup in the beginning of Act 2, I have no complaints with this segment. This is one of the best stories I've seen on this site so far, and I'm honestly kind of jealous of your storytelling and art direction when it comes to this. Keep up the good work!

6

Week

Banished Family

This is a good start, but I do have a few problems with the plot structure. The fact that Mc just randomly asks about the "x" family, and a random person who is a stranger to him just responds even though he doesn't know him really rubs me the wrong way. What if he was a guy lying to him to kidnap him or something? I think that there should be some other event where they meet instead of just randomly asking him if he's related. Also, what was stopping him from just revealing the truth before Mc told him to? Did he just not think of it?
I hope this doesn't sound rude, and I apologize if I come across as that. I just hope that these problems are fixed because this is a really solid start.

6

Week

Tristen and Brad PARTY Act 2

I like the animatic style of the presentation, and the use of the music. The story also seems interesting, although I'm confused at the cohesion between the party scenes and the museum scenes. Other than that, I like it.

6

Week

Draw Your Life (Ted's Minor Beats - Act 2)

The story is really interesting and deep, although I think that the concept of sentient drawings could be expanded upon more. These two drawing creatures could be shoulder angels/demons (if you know what I'm talking about) and the story would mostly be the same, so tapping into the drawing aspect more would justify the concept. Other than that, I have no complaints. Good job.

6

Week

Act 1 & 2

This is an intriguing and surprisingly deep story. One question, though: Does the virtual stuff imply that this takes place during the pandemic? I don't know if that's what the story was trying to imply, but I'd like some clarification. Other than that, it's a great story so far!

6

Week

Cowspiracy Acts 1 + 2

An explanation to how he found out about the cows should be added, but other than that, this is a good start.

5

Week

The Clashing of Rivals

There is a clear sense of absurd comedy when it comes to this video, and I like it! There's enough of it to be entertaining, but not too much where it becomes overwhelming. Good work on that! The story is also good too, but I don't have much to say on it. Just keep up the good work!

5

Week

Back to You

Ayyy you kept the storybook format from last week! Other than that, I like the story, I think it has a lot of potential if goes into more depth during later acts, and I have very few issues with it, with those few issues being very minuscule and irrelevant.

5

Week

Lily Act 1.

I like the storyboards and character designs, and the story itself is a pretty good start. I don't really have any criticisms or anything other than maybe adding more detail. But other than that, good job.

5

Week

Week 5 Submission

First of all, I like the first-person point of view. For whatever reason, other entries were presented in third-person, but this one if the first I've seen to be in first. Other than that, I really like the art style. I say that a lot with these videos, but this one is one of the better ones that I've seen, no offense to anyone else who may be reading this. The story is also intriguing, and potentially really compelling if executed properly. My only real problem is that it didn't go into enough depth for a first part. But that's the only flaw that I have. Overall, I can't wait to see Act 2.

5

Week

Act 1 Storyboard

The story is simple and nice, although it's kind of hard to tell if the main character is the turtle, the person at the end, or both. This will probably work better in the final product and make more sense in context, though.

5

Week

Earth's lament

This looks too good for this site! It looks like an animatic on YouTube or something. Other than that, the story was nice even though I think it could use more development in later parts, but we haven't gotten to those yet, so this is good on its own.

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