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6

Week

The Majestic: Act 1 & 2

I love the idea of making a building the main character! You do a great job of showing how vibrant and well-loved the Majestic is. I wonder what made the ticket booth close though? I feel like knowing that will allow the viewer to buy in even more to the story. I bet watching the Majestic glow with its memories is going to be lovely, and I can't wait to see what will happen next!

5

Week

Heart Heist Act 1

This is very fun--I love the idea of crime lords battling one another! The main character already comes across as smart, but I wonder if there are other characteristics they could have that would make us want to root for them? I feel like the upcoming battle will be a lot more exciting for the viewer if they're cheering for one team over the other. Excited to see how this develops!

5

Week

Oval - Act 1

Okay, I now want to live in world where cats can nurture universes and harness their energy to shoot fireballs from their tails! I wonder if Kirk is the only special cat in this world? I also wonder how the universe was created in the first place--did something really important/magical/high-powered happen at the time of his birth? It'll be cool if to see if those details can be woven into the story somewhere. Loving the creativity of this, and excited to see where it goes!

5

Week

Broken Dreams - Act 1

Such lovely images, and I really like the use of light on the main characters! Watching this, I feel like you've done a good job of depicting Maria and Selena's day to day life, though you could definitely establish some things faster and more clearly with some audio (e.g. saying "Every day they..." instead of repeating images). Looking forward to seeing the conflict in the "Until one day..." section!

5

Week

The Book of S: A Sketchbook Story Act 1

I love your drawings, and this has the makings of a very beautiful story! Tying Kylie's grief for her father to her love for drawing and her isolation establishes a very powerful but relatable backdrop for the story. I wonder about the forest--is it a magical place? Is that magic responsible for the reappearance of Kylie's sketchbook when she returns to her home? Excited to see how this develops!

5

Week

Dionne's Mission (Act I of Dionne and the Tour d'Argent)

Hi Belen, that's a great suggestion, thank you!

5

Week

Dionne's Mission (Act I of Dionne and the Tour d'Argent)

The very end is cut off--the sentence should end like this: "... but she doesn't trust them."

4

Week

Dionne and the Tour d'Argent

Thank you so much Kim! (Sorry this is so delayed--I'm sooo slow with this.) But your suggestions and questions are super helpful--I've tried to add some clarifications in the Act 1 story reel, but even that goes so fast I still have work to do to establish all the details! Thank you again, and I'm definitely taking the Bridgerton comparison as a compliment :)

4

Week

The Antique Store Story Spine

Ha, I love Emily's world of ghosts! The jazz band and book club are great details. I think the moral here is strong and important, but I wonder if you could build up a bit more how unhappy Emily is without the ghosts? Maybe there's a longer time between when they leave and the auction, so we can watch as her crisis deepens?

4

Week

Electra's Story Spine

Ha, I love the idea that 2D characters have a life of their own! I do wonder if it's possible for one character to be on more than one billboard at a time? In any case, the premise is really fun and the moral is strong, maybe just spend a bit more time setting up Electra's relationships with her 2D friends and weaving that into the central conflict? Looking forward to seeing how this evolves!

4

Week

Ms. Nguyen and Sammy // Story Spine

Very nice! I like that this could be a sequel to Monsters Inc., and I especially like a story line that shows that friendships require trust and compassion. I wonder if a bit more information about Ms. Nguyen's job would be helpful to set up the last act--was the mission failing before? Super cute overall, and looking forward to seeing more!

4

Week

Cowboy Predicament

I would totally go see a movie where cowboys and "skyfellers" have to learn how to co-exist! The premise and the moral are awesome, though it'd be great to know a little more about how Mel (and Al) grow throughout the story. Maybe Mel could fight with Chase while the skyfeller is gone?

4

Week

Week 3 Story Spine

This is a really interesting magical premise, and the challenges Alienor has to go through to get back her locket sound like experiences that really would help her to grow and find the courage to write her own story (which is a very cool lesson). Like the others I think more clearly defining the curse will be helpful when you're fleshing out the story more fully, but overall this seems very charming and like a promising start to a great story!

4

Week

"Just Don't Ask Jodi About UFOs" story spine

This was very fun! I Iove the details of her job and the dog--everything seems relevant and meaningful to Jodie's story. I wonder how the dog has survived so long though--was the UFO traveling near the speed of light?

3

Week

Project Chet - The Old World

I like all the detail here--you can get a good sense of the state the world is in, the cooperative work of the robots, as well as the feeling that the world is still under threat. I wonder if some shading or focus can tell us a bit more about how Chet relates to the world--is he worried about it? Does he feel like he belongs among the other robots?

3

Week

The Shadow Bazar

There are so many awesome things going on in this image, but I especially love the sun streaming over the tent in the left hand side. You almost feel the heat of the desert, and understand why people would risk dealing with these mysterious merchants for a moment of respite. I wonder if Zala started out as a normal human, how she became a shadow merchant, and what the dangers are to her in the world of the bazaar?

3

Week

Pactus Sees A Circus

I love that each of the cacti has a different shape--you can immediately tell that they all have unique characters. And I think it's cool that we see the reactions to Pactus instead of his own face, and that this seems to draw us into his experience of the situation. I wonder about what else is going on in this scene--are there spectators? Are the other cacti Pactus's friends?

3

Week

Craig's World

This is a very cool image. I like the detail of a tree that has only half of its leaves, and that you can tell that it's either the beginning or the end of the day from the light. I get the sense that this is going to be a very nuanced and interesting story. It'd be awesome to drop some more hints about what that story might be, or about Craig's relationship with the world around him.

3

Week

Rusty on the Cornfield

Wow, this is awesome! Technically and artistically the image is really well-executed, and I feel like we can already tell a lot about Rusty and his world. I wonder if it would make sense to add something mysterious or ominous to the background to convey that something is coming to disrupt Rusty's happy world?

3

Week

Naomi in her world

This is great! Using detail and color for Naomi but not her adversaries is very powerful, and the 90 degree rotation is disorienting, which helps us immediately empathize with the character's situation and state of mind. I find the adversaries to be really intimidating--are they all adults? I hope she's able to find some allies!

1

Week

What If by The Deep Inkers

My favorite is the idea of penguins going to flying school! It's fun to imagine the history/culture around that--are they ashamed that they can't fly? Are they trying to recreate the lost art of their ancestors? Has climate change meant that more and more northern birds are visiting Antarctica, and the penguins have recently realized that most birds fly? Is there an oppressive new government that has decided that after all these years of just standing around it's time for the penguin species to act like proper birds? One major question I have is: do the penguins actually succeed in learning to fly?

1

Week

What if?... Week 1

Such good ideas! I especially like the one about turning memories into products. There would be a lot of interesting ethical questions to explore, and the idea of living through someone else's memories could lead to suspenseful or dramatic story lines. I wonder what a world where we could buy memories instead of having to create them ourselves would look like--would we ever leave our houses? Would we have mistakes to learn from?

1

Week

What if....?

I love the cat fighter idea! (Most) cats are such good hunters, it's very fun to imagine that they're putting their skills to good use. I wonder whether the girl's cat is the only feline out there saving the world, or are other animals involved? I'm also curious about what the evil spirits want--are they looking for revenge or resources or something else?

1

Week

What If...

Interesting ideas! I like the idea of a cyborg being stuck inside a clock maker's body, and it's fun to imagine her reactions as she goes through the motions of putting together analog clocks. Will she find it difficult or exciting to be in this new body? How do you think the pirate element will play a role?

1

Week

What Ifs - Team Potion Bus

I love the ghost traveler idea! It's fun to imagine the opportunities and challenges the ghosts might run into--would they get stranded somewhere if no cars or buses/trains are leaving when they need to go? The idea of having ghosts from different periods in history might lead to interesting story lines or humor too. One thing I wonder is how many ghosts there are? Do they get to move on to somewhere else after a time, or does the world just keep adding more and more ghosts?

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