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8

Week

“Cornelius the Chameleon”

Hi Shayleen!

Cornelius is so cute! I loved the dialogue and narration.

8

Week

Une Masquerade Ridicule

Hi team Prismatics!

I love your illustrations/character design (great job!). This story was unique, captivating, and easy to follow and the dialogue was so well done. I think if you added background music to the story, it would enhance everything!

8

Week

The Shadow Bazaar

Hi team Cappuccino's!

Your drawing style is excellent and each panel was compelling! I really enjoyed the desert sounds in the background, but I wonder if adding actual music would help add to certain scenes (such as: the scenes that took place in the bazaar, the intense scene of Zala continuing to walk out into the desert, etc.). Great job!

8

Week

Partners in Crime

Hi team SLAYboarding!

The ending was HILARIOUS LOL. I really liked the illustrations, sound effects, and music! I would have to agree to make it a bit longer that way we can have more visual detail on what's going on, but other than that, great job!

8

Week

Walk In My Shoes

Hi team Creative Gophers!

I love this story so much. It was heartwarming, sentimental, easy to follow, clear, and kept me engaged. The music and scenes pulled some heartstrings for me, LOL, but it's very relatable, and I just think you did such a great job.

8

Week

Orion the Brave

Hi Hala Madrid Team!

I actually watched the beginning stages of this storyreel a few weeks ago and wow you've done an incredible job. I love the illustrations, music, sound effects and all. The ending scene was especially well-executed. Amazing!

8

Week

Mr. Charcoal in Recovery-Land

Hi team Raining Frogs!

Wow, I absolutely loved the music throughout this storyreel and how every panel lined up perfectly with the beat. The song choice also added to the humor and drama behind the story! I would agree that adding narration could have made things a bit more clear, but other than that, great job and keep up the great work!

4

Week

Naila’s Story Arc

Hi Team Possibilities!

This story is so powerful and relatable to many. It teaches people to embrace who they are and accept others as well. Similar to what Skye stated, I would like to know more about what these languages consist of. What is Naila's accent like? How do her new friends speak? Is she now in an English-speaking country or something else?

Keep up the great work!

4

Week

Orion the Brave - Spine Story

Hi Hala Madrid team!

I love this. The story and illustrations are super creative, have a great message, and I was engaged throughout all of it. The only thing that was unclear to me was similar to what Cindy stated- why do the constellations feel the need to protect the planet? Is it just their duty or is there another reason behind it?

I'm looking forward to what's next!

4

Week

Lottie’s True Love - Story Spine

Hi Tamba team!

This is overall a very interesting story and the plot is engaging. I too agree with Fiona's/Cindy's comments stating that the platonic friendship could be made more clear. Maybe instead of being on a quest to discover love, she tries to search for comfort and a friend (with everything going on) and suddenly comes across the lonely otter? I'm also questioning the importance of her hair and how it contributes to the story.

Good luck with the rest of your story reel!

4

Week

Lumi's Story Spine

Hi Team P2!

I love the drawings and the moral of the story. I was incredibly engaged throughout all of this and thought the storytelling was also very cohesive. I feel like it's a great way to represent self-discovery and even coping with loss.

My suggestions:
1.) Giving more of a background on BOBA (how was it created?)
2.) Stating how long Lumi's brother was missing for (or at least defining how time works in the other dimension because of how the brother already built a life for himself)
3.) Making it clear whether or not Lumi stays in that dimension (considering she found friends in it)

Keep up the great work!

4

Week

Dream Seller

Hi Eye Candy Team!

For the upcoming submissions, I would suggest slowing down the slides and also narrating them. It would make it easier to digest the story/what's going on visually.

I absolutely love the illustrations and how detailed they are- they are compelling and enhance the story.

The moral of the story is not only powerful but true. My only critique relates to the part of Enderr not wanting to continue to sell good dreams. I don't think selling good dreams necessarily means you're encouraging someone to bury their subconsciousness. We eventually wake up from our dreams and are faced with reality so it's not like our troubles disappear. Dreams can offer a form of escape and even potentially bring encouragement, clarity, and hope to people.

I think Enderr could 100% pursue people having nightmares and make a great impact in that way though! I just think wanting to help those with nightmares should be the main reason why he closes the store (or hands it off to someone else. Maybe he could already have a co-worker throughout all of this?)

4

Week

Upside Down to Right Side Up

Hi team MR Creative Productions!

I love the overall concept of this. It shows to not give up, and also what it's like to feel/be "different". As stated in another comment, I agree that it would be cool if Iris somehow realized that there's nothing wrong with living upside down.

Questions I have:
1.) Is Iris the only one in the world who's upside down, or are there other people?
2.) How does Iris function in a world where she's upside down? As in, how is she able to go outside where there isn't a surface to keep herself from floating away on, go to sleep, walk, etc. etc.?

1

Week

What if... from Team LL + the Cool J

Hi! I'm intrigued by all of your ideas! My favorite would have to be the "bringing characters from TV into your world". It reminds me of the movie Fat Albert (lol). My questions are:

-would any type of character be allowed to come into the person's world? (animated characters/actual people acting)
-what would allow for this phenomenon to happen?
-would the characters be temporary or permanent once brought into the world?

1

Week

Allison's Three What If's

Hi Allison, I love all of your ideas! I think my absolute favorite would have to be the third one. There are several directions the story concept can go in, and I ultimately feel like it would be entertaining to see how someone would even take care of 3 random alien babies (LOL). I question:

-what type of environment would these alien babies need to be raised in?
-Even though they randomly got dropped off at a doorstep, where/who did they come from?

1

Week

What if...

Great ideas! My favorite idea is the catching sunlight concept. There's a lot that can be imagined regarding what a world where that career exists would look like! That being said, I question:

-where would this sunlight come from, and what would be the use for it?

1

Week

3 what if

Hi! I really like the 3rd idea! Having it set in a desert really adds to the story concept feeling mysterious and enticing. I question:

-what would the shadows be traded for?
-how exactly are the shadows traded?
-how are the shadows captured?
-would there be an exploration of a potential "shadow world"?

1

Week

What if…

Hi! I'm really intrigued by the 2nd idea. There's an opportunity for character exploration/storytelling not only with the artist but with the spirits that they encounter. I question if the encounter with the angry spirits would ultimately "inspire" the artist, or completely ruin their research.

1

Week

samantha ho—what if...?

I love all of your ideas! The one that pops out to me the most is the "what if a kindergartener's drawings came to life?". I question how the kindergartener's drawings would come to life. Is it a gift/superpower? Do they find/discover something that allows this to happen?

I'm also curious as to what their drawings would consist of!

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Kaitlin's Comments

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