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8

Week

sdfsd

Good afternoon from Spain! You have created a sense of mystery in me, what will happen to these animals? I imagine that you have had some problem uploading your work, I hope to be able to enjoy the complete short! Greetings!

8

Week

Lily

Good afternoon from Spain! I have followed Lily's story over time and I have always found her core idea and her message very exciting: no matter who you are or how you are, if you propose everything with passion, you can achieve it. I really like the idea of ​​a family of lions, and the loving and luminous touch that the whole story has.
I know I already told you in a comment, but there are two things that are a little unclear to me. The first is the reason why the older sisters have more freedom than Lily: I understand that because she has to stay with her little brothers, but why don't they take turns and so they all have her freedom? It would be clearer to me that this was an excuse from the parents because in reality they are very afraid that something will happen to her daughter, because of her disability. In the event that her parents are overprotective, I think I would add more exaggeration: that they don't even let her go to school unaccompanied, and so on.
The other thing that I would reinforce is the skating theme. I like that you added a "Plan of Attack" (she starts to prepare and train), but it would be great if it was for a specific event (for example, a super skating contest), that she finally ran away to participate, and that the climax was that her parents find her just when she is doing her big performance: so they realize that she is not dependent and that she has the right to fulfill her dreams.
Everyting else is perfect to me, and I'm looking forward to seeing this short film complete and animated. CONGRATULATIONS!!

8

Week

Final story reel

Good evening from Spain! First of all, I find the idea of dinosaur-human coexistence super attractive, it seems to me a super interesting idea, and what I like the most is that in the end they find a way to coexist without harming each other (normally in this type of stories one species wins over the other). I think it's great. What I find a bit strange is the telepathy ability, I think it could be developed much more and have more importance in the story. And I think you should work a lot on the art and drawings of this short film, it seems that you couldn't upload your own illustrations.
Like I said, I love history, and I'd love to see this short film in its entirety one day. Greetings!!

8

Week

Monachopsis

Good evening from Spain! First of all, wow, I really love the message of this story!! Surely many people will be able to identify with the protagonist and with the rest of the people in this world where you are born "with a birthmark" (for example, if your parents are astronauts, you should be too, that type of thought that unfortunately still is still valid). It seems to me that everything is very clear and concise. It reminds me of the book Fairy Dust and the Quest for the Egg (I won't spoil you anything, but it has a main theme about finding true talent, I recommend you read it because you'll love it). Just a little suggestion: I think the birthmark should be in a more visible place than the back of the neck, I think it's hard to see there. I would place it, for example, on the character's forehead (and maybe instead of a scarf she can wear a hat to hide it).
This is all. CONGRATULATIONS FOR THE STORY!!! The drawing style is great, and I really want to see this animated.
Greetings!!

8

Week

Adam and Eve

Good evening from Spain! First of all, I think that it can be very interesting to use the story of Adam and Eve to tell another story. I think you should, on the pillars of that classic story, tell your own, since the one you are narrating is the one that everyone knows and that appears in the Bible. Perhaps you did not understand the exercise well, it is about telling your own story, not narrating an existing one. Be very careful when making the editing, since in a moment the sound has been cut off, and try to talk in a silent room, without noise in the backgroung. I think you can do something much better and tell something personal about you, which is what this course is about. I hope you continue working on it and to be able to see something great soon. Greetings!

8

Week

Sheldon Takes Flight!

I love the story and how Sheldon and his grandfather's dreams come true. Grandpa's stories open his dreams of flying. The years lost in school that he scams his students, promising false hopes and how he admits the reality of not being able to fly on his own. In the end he regains control of his life and with effort and knowledge and invents the plane, being able to see his distant relatives.
Perhaps what confuses me is so many different drawing styles. For the rest, congratulations!

7

Week

Intersecting Dreams

Hello from Spain! I want to say the first thing, congratulations for the great work, including the animation in some points is great, and the timing in the whole animatic is perfect.
I have some questions about the story. I love the idea that mother and daughter are passionate about the sport, and that they have the opportunity to exchange their emotions and memories about it. What is not very clear to me is if that passion for sports was causing Selena not to spend much time with her mother, and if they finally abandon both (especially Selena), the idea of ​​succeeding in the sport they love most to be with the family. That is not very clear to me, since I think it is not necessary to be so drastic, you can always combine professional sport with quality time with family and friends (I am a footballer and I know it is possible). In the event that Selena was spending too much time on volleyball, I think it would be necessary to talk more about it in the first act. For the rest I think it's great, and the truth is, I really want to see how this story evolves. Great job!!

5

Week

The Antique Store - Act 1

Hello Sam! First of all, I like very much the retro style of the story, as well as its retro stylised main character. Emily seems so serious, unpleasant and harsh, like Miss Rottenmeier in Heidi, but for sure she has a golden heart. I wonder if it sould be possible go deeper in why she doesn't have any friend. Did something happened to her when she was younger that made her isolate herself from everyone? Is she shy, or is she so smart that she can't find a soul mate to share her knowledge with? I can't wait to see her interactions with the phantoms. Keep up the good job!!

5

Week

Week 5

Simply fascinating. I love Sebas's personality, it is not very common to find such focused and methodical children, but it is true that they exist, and it gives him a unique touch. And it is a great idea that you love cooking, because after all it is an activity that is often very complicated, in which there are many steps to follow, everything has to be perfectly measured, weighed and planned so that it goes ahead, is the perfect activity for him. (Especially in the case of pastries and desserts!)
The only thing that I find confusing is where he finds the poster announcing the award. I think it would be more appropriate if I saw it at school, on a bulletin board. The rest is perfect. I love the animation in some of the story panels, and the drawing style. Keep going!!

5

Week

Liliana

Hey Diablicos, saludos desde España! Your story looks great! The drawings are clear and concise, and act 1 is very well structured. I'm dying to know what's going to happen to El Diablico. I don't know why, but I have the impression that he is going to try to overprotect Lilliana, thinking that everyone is evil and against her, and that is going to cause a series of unfortunate events. (I think so because the girls he talks to at the end of the act don't seem like bad people!)
Well, they are just assumptions. I want to know how it continues!!

5

Week

Axel the Kangaroo Act 1

Hey Communist Velociraptors! I love Axel's story. It's great to combine a boxing gang story with kangaroos (the kings of boxing in the animal world). It's super original! I also really like the drawing style, and I think that everything in the first act is very clear and perfectly structured. I wonder if Axel will get revenge on Tony when he is cured. Keep going!

5

Week

A treasure at the beach

Greetings from Spain!
Well, I love your story, since I saw the first concepts. The idea of ​​a song trapped in a conch shell is just beautiful. Great job with the drawings, full of details and well planned, and the timing of the first act is great.
Perhaps I would add more details that show the isolation of the protagonist. For example, a shot of her at school, avoiding her classmates, or in a sport, away from the team. And I agree with Marijke's opinion, I think that apart from the ball, a child should approach her to talk to her (they don't know that she doesn't speak the same language), or try to interact with her, smile at her, make some gesture...
The rest is perfectly explained, and I really like the detail that she still hasn't gotten used to the time change (perhaps that could make her late for school, get scolded and make her feel even more isolated?)
Keep going. I really want to continue watching this story!

5

Week

Lottie - Act 1

Hello!!
I've been following Lottie's story for a long time, because I really want to know how it evolves!
Good job with the storyboard, everything is perfectly drawn, and also Lotti's character is very well described!
I have some doubts about the parents. According to your history, they give the impression of being a bit of a villain. It is very cruel to have an adopted girl and treat her differently than natural children. Why did they take her then?
I think there may be two possibilities regarding them. 1: they are real villains and they picked Lottie because they know she has special abilities (in that case, it would give them more of a villain personality, maybe like the uncles in Harry Potter, who had to take him in out of obligation and treat him very differently than his own son). 2: Lottie FEELS that they treat her differently, but it's not like that, it's what she thinks, but in reality they love her in the same way as her other siblings (that is, it is an issue of insecurity regarding she).
I think it would be necessary to go deeper into this topic, it is the one that confuses me the most. The rest seems perfect to me. I really want to know how act 2 continues! Keep going!

4

Week

Cian and the Metaverse

Hello, greetings from Spain!
I've followed Cian's story before, and I'm still fascinated by the art and style of the metaverse. They look great and very original. Great job on the Story Spine, everything is very clear and well depicted!
I just have a small suggestion. I think it would add even more strength to the character if he wanted to change the world around him. That is to say, it would be great if, in addition to disconnecting himself from the metaverse, he managed to disconnect the rest of human beings, and show them that the real world is abandoned and poorly cared for by them, and that they must change that. Cian could encourage everyone to make a change, to disconnect the machines and fix this dystopian world (I imagine that it is mistreated and full of pollution by humans themselves). He would be very inspiring.
The rest is all perfect. Keep going!

4

Week

Lily the Lion Cub

Hello from Spain!
Well, first of all, I love the drawing style and the general style of the short film. I love the design of Lily and her family, and also the desire she has to overcome all obstacles to achieve her big dream.
If you allow me, I leave you a couple of suggestions. I think Lily's disability should be more noticeable in the drawings. Perhaps it would be interesting to draw her with a small crutch, or with a small cane. And I think it should be given more importance. For example, perhaps because she has that small disability, she is very overprotected by her parents, and that is why she is always sent to take care of her little brothers and she does not have the freedom that her older sisters have. I think she could go deeper into this topic.
My second suggestion is to leave more time for the story. I think it's very interesting and full of great details, and it takes a lot more time to tell than a 3-4 minute short film. It would be very interesting if the trigger for the story was Lily's escape, and if the entire second act was her learning all the ballet techniques on skates with the dancers, living with them, getting to know new experiences...
And I like that in the end, parents discover that their daughter's disability does not make her dependent, that she needs to be able to go outside and discover new things just like her sisters. It's a great moral.
I hope I have explained clearly. The truth is that I really want to know how this story evolves. It has so much charm and personality. Keep going!

4

Week

Dre the Trash Monster

Hey, Desiree & Kathy Animations team! Well, you have left me very intrigued! I really like Dre because he reminds me of Jack Skellington, happy in his strange and mysterious world, in this case, made of garbage. I would like to know if he lives in a garbage dump on Earth, or does he live on a planet completely covered in garbage like Wall-e. And of course, I'm looking forward to knowing what kind of living being is about to meet. Will it be a human? It would be very interesting to see them interact!
The drawing is very clear, and also the description of the character. Wishing to know more. Keep going!

4

Week

Por las barbas de mi gato My Cat´s whiskers

Hello from Spain! Wow, the idea of ​​a cat and a boy exchanging is super cool!
I really like the drawing style, and I think it can be a very tender story and at the same time very funny, it has a lot of potential.
I have a couple of suggestions, in case they're helpful. I think it would be very good if the cat's soul got into Daniel's body. So we would have what is called Plot B, the story of the secondary character. I think maybe the cat could be an animal terrified of humans, aggressive and not friendly at all, and being in a human's body for a while would make him understand that not all humans are bad, at the same time that Daniel learns to fight against his fears in the body of the cat (I imagine him, for example, being very afraid of heights at first, and being a cat he learns to climb on roofs and through very dangerous places). It's mutual learning that could be very beneficial, and hilarious at the same time!
Another thing that perhaps should be clarified is why they can die when they are in different bodies. Some kind of threat stalks them? Souls can't be out of their bodies for so long? In that case, who explains how it works?
The rest is incredible. I see so much potential in this story. By the way, I love what Tracy says, that spending so much time living in the body of the cat Daniel cures his allergies. This reminds me of what happened to me, I was allergic to cats, and circumstances forced me to adopt two. Now my allergy has disappeared!

I'm looking forward to seeing more!

4

Week

Unbeelievable- Story Spine

Greetings from Spain!
Well, the first thing I have to tell you is that I am in love with the story. It seems to me a very strong concept and a very powerful story, which can perfectly become a movie. It is a kind of adaptation of The Emperor's New Clothes, but with a very fresh touch. The tone can go perfectly from drama to comedy, because it's such an incredibly absurd situation but realistic at the same time that it opens up a lot of possibilities. I love it!
I have two small suggestions. First of all, I wouldn't focus so much on Mel's parents at first. I think that she should be aware of alerting the entire hive equally in the first moments, and I would reserve the fact that her own family and her best friends do not believe her and turn their backs on her for the end of the second act, like the worst obstacle. I don't think they need to punish her, the fact that they despise her and don't believe what she says is punishment enough.
Second, what are Barry the Bear's true intentions? I can imagine they are not good at all. If what the bear really wants is to destroy the hive and its inhabitants to eat the honey, then he would make it much more dangerous. Perhaps he would not only destroy Mel's camera, but try to kill Mel herself and in her flight the camera would be destroyed. And even if she alerts everyone that the bear has tried to kill her, they don't believe her.
I hope I have explained myself well. But as I said at the beginning, it seems incredibly powerful to me, and I have fallen in love with Mel from the beginning, rebellious and wanting to open her eyes to the whole society. Great, great, great. I can't wait to see this story finished!!

4

Week

Lottie’s True Love - Story Spine

Hello! I've been following Lottie's story since the other weeks and I'm loving how it evolves!!
It seems to me a tender and very special story, because it talks about love in all its forms, and that it does not have to be the one that arises in a conventional couple (like the girl's parents) for it to be strong and intense.
I have some small suggestions, in case they are useful to you, to make some things a little bit clearer.
First of all, could it be that the book about the otters appeared somewhere other than his bookshelf? For example, that he found it in a library, or that someone gave it to him and he still had it, for example, wrapped in gift paper and had not yet discovered it. It's just that, being such a reading girl, I'm surprised that I had it on the shelf and hadn't discovered it until then.
Secondly, do you think it would be possible to develop the relationship between Lottie and the otter more? For example, that they run an adventure together, with dangerous situations in which they are put to the test, or even that they argue and make peace. It could be that the girl decides to help the otter find her true love, start a journey, and in the end discover that love has always been there between the two. I think that spending more time together and having experiences would be a good way to develop your bond, instead of it happening so suddenly.
The rest seems fantastic to me, and as I said, I love the message. I look forward to seeing how the story continues to unfold!

4

Week

Lumi's Story Spine

Hello, greetings from Spain!
Well, first of all, I love stories about brothers and their relationships, which are very special, so your story hooked me from the beginning. The drawings are great and give an idea of ​​the style of the final short.
I have a couple of suggestions on some details. First of all, I imagine that BOBA is a robot-like invention, created by the two brothers. Perhaps it could be given more importance if it were, for example, one that they created when they were younger (in the style of C3PO in Star Wars, which was created by Anakin Skywalker when he was little), and that way it grows with them.
The other suggestion is, why radically sever the relationship between the two brothers? I understand that the boy decides to have his own life in a different place with his own group, of course. But never seeing him again is perhaps a bit radical, considering that Lumi is also very intelligent and is able to travel between different dimensions and worlds. I do understand that he doesn't see him as much as before, but it would be very satisfying if they saw each other again from time to time. I think that this wouldn't stop Lumi to become more independent.
That would be the only thing, the rest seems great to me, and I think it has great potential. I'm looking forward to seeing how this project continues. Keep up such good work!

3

Week

Cian on Both Worlds

I have been fascinated by the strength of the color and the drawing of this story. Is incredible! I would very much like to know which of the two images represents the metaverse (if the first, idyllic bottom of the sea), or the second (more dystopian). And I wonder if that cool character will fight to make the real world equal to or better than the virtual metaverse. It's a super inspiring story. I love it, can't wait to see how it goes!

3

Week

I sea you

That's super original! The truth is, I had never seen a story starring a dog in love with the bottom of the sea. I really like the light and color in the picture, and I can imagine what the whole movie will be like in the future. I wonder how Luanna will manage to be at the bottom of the sea. With diving equipment? Maybe magical powers? In any case, I think it's a great idea. Keep it up, I really want to know how the story ends!

3

Week

Leo, Luan, and their son Luke

Hey, what a great story! I love the idea of parents sharing a passion with their children. Both characters may be scientists, or astronomers, and their child wants to follow in their footsteps. (Reminds me a bit of the dynamic between Meg and her parents in A Wrinkle in Time.) The only thing I find a bit confusing is the environment where they are in the image. I imagine it is a tent, but where are they? In the countryside? In the little boy's room, maybe?
The rest is amazing, and I also love that style of characters. Keep it up!!

3

Week

Gravity

I love stories related to space! And of course, I love sibling stories, so I can't wait to see how this one evolves! How nice it would be if the two of them could fulfill their dream and reach space, where Declan's brother doesn't need to walk to fly through the galaxy. It's fantastic! Keep up the good job!

3

Week

Marin: A new friend, perhaps?

Hi from Spain!! I'm catching up with the wonderful work here, and I couldn't help but stop to admire this still. I LOVE IT!! It gives all the important information about the style of the final film. I love also the blue eyes detail, and I wonder if the clothes style transports us to a different era in time (20th century, Middle Ages?) I can't wait to see more of this!! Keep the good job!

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