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Explanation (Optional)

6

Week

"Pull" Act 1&2

I wisshhh, you see its pretty hard to not use so much words while also explaining every part of it and including the important beats that should tell the audience all the necessary things. I think they should really think about making the desired length of this assignment no longer than 5-6 minutes. I had to cut sooo much

6

Week

"Pull" Act 1&2

You see, the original script was way bigger. If you'd like, you can watch my act 1 for the more detailed beginning, but if you mean how the gravity thing started in particular, its in the works.

6

Week

"Pull" Act 1&2

That is true, I will take a note on that.

6

Week

"Pull" Act 1&2

Thank you, I reallyy wish I could explain more but I wanted to keep up to the limit of 4 minutes, and believe me the original explanation and script was wayyyy bigger.

5

Week

"Pull" - ACT 1

GOT IT. Let me change the ending real quick! I completely forgot about show and not tell idea!

5

Week

Act 1 - Stella

Dang! I wonder what will happen to the bear next, seems like the carnival is in a worldwide tour. I think it'd be cool to make the carnival have a certain theme.

5

Week

Act 1

I lovveedddd it! It really does intrigue me what might be Ari's reaction to the guests.

5

Week

lil nee

The fact that the beginning sounds already like a somewhat complete story, I wonder what should happen next! Keep it up!

5

Week

Act 1 storyboard

Great beginning, It would be so cool to provide more insight on how brothers treated each other. This story sounds like it has brotherly love theme in it.

5

Week

The tail of Inji

Loved it! why was the Samurai in the bar? I wonder what happens next!

5

Week

Storyboard

Interesting beginning of the story! I wonder what happens to him after he finds the tool. What would it do?

4

Week

Week 4

Great story! Love the time travel stuff, but it seems to me that the moral is missing. I'm sure y'all have it, just forgot to include it. I am unfortunately unable to
Give you an idea of it because in my opinion the character is not described enough. We need him to change at the end of the story. Meaning, maybe he wasn't really happy with his family, and then after time travel he realizes the importance of the people that are still alive, and that are part of your family.

4

Week

Gold crash

Great story spine! I wonder if we can spice the story up by making the miner that main character found a ghost of a dead miner. Since the miner fell down, and so where did the other one come from.

3

Week

Tristen Museum and city

It looks amazing. Very detailed and colorful. WOW.

3

Week

Week 3

I love your art style. I wonder if in the story she becomes more distant from video content and her getting drawn into self-care more and more.

3

Week

Brandon in the Sun

The visuals are really good. I love how you used real-life imagery and just went along with it building on top of it. I wonder, in the story, if he stays away from the light geysers, shouldn't he be far away from them? I think the visual would represent the description better, if Brandon was far closer to the camera, maybe looking nervous or disgusted, in a pose of running as the light gaysers kind of burst and shoot into the sky.

3

Week

PO’s World

The story sounds really intriguing! And, I see I'm not the only one to say this, but he DOES REALLY look like Mr. Bobinsky from Coraline! :)

3

Week

Lux's World

I love it, it's so colorful. I wonder if the mood of the story is gonna feel like a deep dive back into childhood.

3

Week

Setting

It gives off a doomer atmosphere, I love it! I wonder if the story takes place in one of the post-soviet countries with their really depressing apartment buildings.

3

Week

Lily's world

Oh my god, I love the visuals, and the story is intriguing! I wonder if it's gonna be something like Subnautica.

2

Week

Casper

Ohhhh that sounds like a soulmate story, haha
I wonder how the whole mind reading thing became a thing.

2

Week

Character Profile

Great character! I wonder what is her backstory.

2

Week

Character development

This is such a good character foundation. I hope he becomes a better person overall at the end of the story. And to be really honest? I don't even see the art contest as the main goal of the story, but becoming the better person is what matters more.

2

Week

Chill Out

I loved how brief and on point this introduction is.

2

Week

character profile earthquake girl

Great character! I wonder who gave her that curse, and what does it exactly do? And should she REALLY have to live with that curse or she should fight for it to disappear?

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Vladyslav's Comments

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