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8

Week

Final Video

I liked how you used a lot of showing and not telling in this story. I thought the pacing was well done and the music fit the mood well. I would suggest when Jasmine tells her family she didn't find any gold, not going directly to happy music and possibly having neutral or contemplative music to show that Jasmine learned from her experience throughout the story to come to the decision she makes. I wonder if by the end of the story, although Jasmine doesn't think about gold again, she still worries about finances since the farm was going downhill.

8

Week

My Story

I liked the world building you used in this story, as well as the unexpected decisions that were made, which made the story exciting. I would like to see why Emma gave off light and was different from the other people in the village.

8

Week

Nightlight

I loved the drawings of the characters, especially how you used the color yellow throughout the story. I would like to see the dialogue in Fynn and Ryder's conversation near the end of the story. I suggest muffling the voices of the characters, so their language doesn't distract from other parts of the story.

8

Week

Great Protector

I liked the detail put into the characters, and I loved the color of the sky in the background. I wasn't sure what perspective the last image was from (like the main character or another character in the story). I would love to see this story further developed, like by being longer or having more detail in the events that take place.

8

Week

Doodle

I liked your use of facial expressions in your story and the characters Mr. Goose and Mr. Snake. I loved your art style, and I thought that the moments in the story that were illustrated worked very well. I was confused in the scene where Ted chooses whether or not to go play video games with the girl he met because there was a change in colors in the environment and the sound effects of that scene were slightly distracting for me. I would love to see this scene further developed, like with more drawings and more detail in the background, since this seems to be a very important moment in the story. Overall, I thought this story was unique, had great flow, and had an inspiring theme!

6

Week

Jeane's epic tale: Act Two

I liked when the buyer asked Jeane if avenging his family was worth taking a life. I wonder how Jeane meets the buyer, and how their friendship starts (specifically the moment, like if they were talking about something they had in common)? I would love to see how they meet and how they are able to trust each other.

5

Week

Earth's lament

I really liked the illustrated setting! It was striking to show them in relation to the characters' experience and brought out the understandable feelings of being dazzled and curious at moments in the act. I wondered when one day was, and how the time spent between that was spent? I would suggest using more brighter or lighter colors in the setting, so the important parts of the scene stand out and don't become lost in the background or muddled.

5

Week

ACT #1 ANIMATION

I liked that the characters were very expressive, especially in their body language and way of saying things. In some scenes, there were just the characters, which showed the characters clearly, but I wonder what the background looks like in those scenes? I would suggest adding a horizon line and having the characters a different color from the sky (like light gray).

5

Week

george!!!! act one!!!!!

I like the relationship between Sunny and George, especially when you described Sunny trying to take on a parental role instead of a sisterly one. I wonder what happened to Sunny and Georges' parents, and what influence this has on Sunny and Georges' emotions in the scenes? I would love to see the characters' style, like in clothing, more.

4

Week

Fynn’s Story Spine

I agree with the feedback given; the art is stunning. I loved the perspectives, and they were really accurate! The lighting from the fireflies was an interesting element to include, and I liked that it differentiated the different bugs, creating a clear image. I wonder how Flynn's family reacted emotionally to being moved to a new environment-- did they show kindness when they accepted this or did they simply have no choice? Both things suggest a lot about the bugs living at the little girl's mama's house... I wonder if possibly this sadness caused by the girl's actions gets directed onto Flynn without him releasing it, and if this could be part of what he learns/realizes at the end of the story?

4

Week

Gibby's story

I liked how you described Gibby's isolation and how you described activities/hobbies of his, instead of stating his personality (showing not telling). I could picture the character more easily and Gibby felt like a more complex character because of that. In one illustration, when describing that Gibby gives up on extroverted social activities, you showed Gibby in what I thought was rain. I wonder what you meant by this, particularly if this was what literally happened, or if the rain is meant in a figurative sense, showing Gibby's stark feelings? Also, I'd love to learn about Gibby's friend!

4

Week

Finley Aspen’s Story Spine

I liked the idea of shadows representing insecurities, and the detail that shadows could appear at certain times made me think of how insecurity can be persistent and linger even when someone seems okay. I loved the conflict between how Finley feels and how Finley acts. I thought the complex relationships that were created in this story were really interesting. I wonder how Finley's life (specifically) continues after he sings in front of the whole school, like does he make new friends, and is he content with his life? Also, it seemed like Finley was chasing fame, and I wonder if that's what he achieves at the end of the story in his way that helps him discover the solution to his problem (like does the character see his goal in a new perspective-- I thought he originally wanted to fit in with people who were popular but finds fame at the end of the story after making a positive change)... I'm curious if this relates to the moral of the story?

4

Week

Story Plot Sketching

I liked the detail you put into Juni's face! It was really expressive and showed a wide range of emotions. I wonder what her internal features were like, like if you could elaborate on what you meant by her being unique, cool, and bold? I wonder if Juni just returned to the person she was before this story, or if she grew as a person having gone through this experience?

4

Week

Olive's Story (Title TBD)

I liked the trees and found them intriguing! I wonder what differentiates a beautiful tree from an ugly tree, and I would love to see how you illustrate that. I wonder why Teddy is Olive's skunk, and I think this could be an interesting detail to include! I look forward to seeing Olive's character grow in the story; her character is bold and inspiring.

4

Week

Aspens Story Spine

I liked that the moral of the story was living in the present and that this story was beyond the main character, affecting the whole community. I wonder how the main character developed her obsession with going to the outside world, like possibly from what she sees outside the balloon? I also wonder if she is left with mixed feelings (or maybe a feeling of change after what she goes through)? I would love to see the friends described in your story because they seem to have a strong influence on Aspen.

2

Week

Count Crocula

I loved the ending, "...he is not as intelligent as he once thought"! I liked that Count Crocula grows as a complex, understandable character who finds an unexpected goal, revealing a part of him that is not originally shown. I thought it was a great balance of external features and internal features. I wonder if he can eventually return to his original self, having grown as a person, or is he forced to live as Count Crocula, and how he is treated as of becoming Count Crocula?

2

Week

Finley Aspen

I liked that Finley has a complex personality; while they might seem upbeat, they struggle with being anxious. In your illustration, the shadow of the person on the right stood out to me, which I thought was interesting because it completes the split personality of being anxious and fearful. I wonder if although this part of their personality seems unwanted, it makes the character complete because they must learn to overcome this and they become a better person as a result.

2

Week

scout

I loved how "scout" turns up in different ways in your story, as a name, moral, and culture, and the principles of scouting were really cool. I could clearly imagine this character, and I felt that their character profile was well made and entertaining. The illustration was very effective too! I wonder what the character's past is, like could they actually have a family that they might not know about? Does the gurdian have something valuable to offer them, or are they striving to reach some feeling, like acceptance or safety?

2

Week

Character Profile - Mónica Juárez

I loved the drawings, and the font really stood out! I wonder how this society of people formed apart from Earth (or if they could have possibly been from Earth originally, but be unaware of their history)? Both characters seem to be competitive and hard-working. I wonder how they deal with each other when they are striving for different goals, like might they become close friends or do they argue a lot and fight to be in control of the situation?

2

Week

Simone

I like the stars powered homes in this story! Personally, it made me think about the effects people have on the environment now and was left thinking about the power of the physical environment we live in, which made me imagine if the current conditions were switched, creating the world told through your story. I loved the setting, and I imagine it could be a world from the future. I wonder what will happen if Simone does not take a star- would they just have to wait until next year, could they lose their house, or how would they be treated? I wonder if there is any consequence from taking the stars, possibly something that is later discovered.

2

Week

Star Chowwers

I love Nneka's style; it's unique and cool! I like the opposing sides of her personality, how she is both appearing to be grounded and secure, and shy and unaware of who she really is. I wonder what part of her identity she is unsure about, like for example if she felt insecure about her body image, culture, personality, etc. I wasn't completely certain what you meant by "community of star chowwers".

2

Week

Olive

I love the idea that when mistakes are made, trees grow in a community where everyone is taught to be a perfectionist. I would love to see how nature is portrayed in this story! I wonder how Olive learned that some mistakes can be beautiful so early on in her life... I would assume that she wouldn't learn this from the people around her, so I wonder if there is a specific moment when she realizes this? I feel like that detail shows a lot about her personality, and in my opinion, it makes Olive an interesting character.

1

Week

My Mind

I liked the idea of new species of animals, like the rose penguin and dandelion cow, because they were very unique and interesting animals! I wonder if they would be a plant or an animal, or a combination of both, forming a new type of living thing. Did the animals inherit their traits, could they have been given a magical gift, or something else? This idea made me imagine a world of unique species like this, which could be interesting if both these animals lived in the same world.

1

Week

What if...

The idea of recording dreams stood out to me, although I found all of the ideas interesting! Recording a dream made me think of the nostalgia associated with dreams and how dreams can be forgotten and lost. How would these dreams be recorded? I wonder how these recordings of dreams would be used... would the technology be expensive, and therefore would be held by the upper class as entertainment? or could the government heavily restrict the use of this invention as they were afraid of its complications? Also, I really liked the striking style and use of color in the illustrations and visuals!

1

Week

What if

I liked how your ideas explored different ways humans could react to very unique habitats. The idea of society living underwater especially stood out to me because it made me think about how a society living in this realm would act. I am curious about the culture the people living underwater have, like do they have special tools, such as different shoes, like flippers and cleats, to fit the terrain? Could they coexist or remain unnoticed by current society? Would they have adapted to living in the sea, and (especially if so) what would it be like if they came onto land to interact with people living on land? This idea could go a lot of different paths, and I look forward to seeing how the story develops!

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